Ask HN: How do billionaires deal with their anxiety?

The same way non-billionaires do: there isn’t anything that money can do about it. While ‘only’ worth $150m, Katherine Brosnahan (you may know as Kate Spade) tragically hanged herself last week after suffering for a few years. If $150m can’t buy you out of it, I’m not sure another $850m would.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kate_Spade#Death

There was an excellent article on this in the Atlantic on the "Secret Fears of the Super Rich"[1]. The Atlantic article matches my (secondary) experience: while I am (emphatically!) not in this camp (I definitely need to work to pay my mortgage!), I have several close friends who are outrageously wealthy, and I have observed that their lives are not made less stressful by their wealth -- but the specifics change. For example, there is great anxiety about how to raise their kids, especially for those who were not themselves raised in wealth: they are torn between providing their kids those things that they did not themselves have while still having their kids seek those things that they themselves sought. This is much harder to square than it might sound, and I don't think that there's a pat answer -- though I would observe that the ones I know with the fewest problems are those that are the least ostentatious with their wealth.

None of this serves to answer the question of how they deal with it, but rather to confirm what we probably all know: while money makes certain things in life easier, it is not a cure for all ills.

[1] https://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2011/04/secret-...

If we're talking about the anxieties that come from, say, the nagging sense that "there should be more than this to life; i have everything, why aren't i happy?": The wise ones give all their money away. "Great gifts mean great responsibilities; greater gifts, greater responsibilities!"

Not to be confused with the (damaging) ideas of the "prosperity gospel", Andrew Carnegie wrote https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Gospel_of_Wealth , and now we have libraries.

Bill Gates is busy trying his hardest to stomp out malaria.

Paul Allen is trying his best to do as much blue-sky biomedical research as possible.

etc.,etc.

Even if, perhaps especially if,you came into your riches by unscrupulous ways, seeing that your surplus wealth is sunk into things that matter will help you sleep better at night -- because, indeed, you're doing what you ought to be doing.

Most of the answers here are assuming that we are talking about the same kind of anxieties everyone faces. Which to some extent is true. But I've spent some time around celebrities and billionaires and I don't think that's totally an accurate take. They have different problems from you and me.

For the most part they don't have the day to day anxieties about money and what things cost of course. And also they have less of the sort of existential dread that their lives won't matter, as they are surrounded by a lot of evidence they are important.

From what I can tell the main anxiety comes from the drastic effect it has on interpersonal relationships. When you have a tremendous amount of money and status you necessarily have a very hard time trusting people, and you're likely to face a near constant inundation of people who want things from you, and who often are being disingenuous about their intentions.

It's exhausting. For the most part they deal with those anxieties by finding ways to get out of that situation by surrounding themselves with people that have similar money and status, removing themselves to isolated or exclusive places, and so on.

This will come as a shocker, and It's not commonly known, but there's quite a bit of research accumulating, showing that extreme electrolyte imbalances such as magnesium deficiencies can exacerbate or even cause anxiety and depression. It's closely linked to our Calcium intake (which is often waaayyy too high for people who really like dairy - it's higher than you think because the US recommendation is twice what it should be: 1000mg vs the WHOs recommendation of 500mg - this means if the label says you got 30% of DRI of calcium, you actually got 60% or more!). Too much Calcium inhibits the absorbtion of magnesium, thus compounding the issue even more. Some studies even show, that with calcium intake increased, their depression levels. And with increased magnesium intake, depression levels decrease: "Case histories are presented showing rapid recovery (less than 7 days) from major depression using 125-300 mg of magnesium (as glycinate and taurinate) with each meal and at bedtime"

Here's one of the studies: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/16542786

But, there's several more.

Back to the question: With all their money, they could probably afford to eat the very best foods and could higher a nutritionist to help them plan high magnesium foods. For everyone else without all that money, there's always my nutrient based food/recipe finder: https://kale.world/c

Use it to find the most Magnesium dense foods or any other nutrient for that matter.

I don't know any billionaires, but I have known some fairly successful people whose success grew out of their anxieties (at least in part). They were not comfortable being vulnerable, ordinary people so they acquired degrees and titles and money and power to hide behind when dealing with other people.

So I will suggest that in some cases the answer may be that becoming a billionaire is part of how they dealt with their anxieties.

I think I can answer this because I asked this to Elon Musk around a year ago. Billionaires have higher anxiety and relentless stress. They just hide it from the world. Many develop mental diseases such as anxiety, disorders etc. Here is a link to my conversation with Elon Musk: https://www.forbes.com/sites/brucelee/2017/08/03/elon-musk-a...

They talk to other wealthy individuals. People with a lot of money generally have fairly small circles of friends because it becomes very hard to trust peoples' motives. Most of the people who approach you want access, money, status, or a mixture of those things. Very few really care about you as a person.

The classic "mo money, mo problems" sounds (and is) ridiculous to people without much money, but after a certain threshold it actually becomes true.

They probably see a therapist and talk about it?

I think that billionaires have better ways of dealing with it than poor people.

I don't think a billionaire's money buys as much relief as we might think. You could afford the best therapist but are you getting quality or just someone who can big up their reputation to justify charging you $10K per hour for the same service as every other therapist?

Money can certainly bring you suspicion of others and that can make it as hard as it does for the rest of us to get things done!

It also doesn't buy self-awareness, one of the most important starting points out of anxiety.

Disclaimer: I'm no billionaire. Just a bit older, and experiencing perhaps a bit of wisdom -- and no small measure of regret -- from my own life experiences.

Take care of your physical health, and your well-being -- including especially your day-to-day environment and social relationships.

Money makes some of this easier. On the other hand, if you don't do these things, no amount of money will fix it. (And many health problems, no amount of money can fix or undo. You want to prevent them occurring, in the first place.)

P.S. I do know a few significantly rich people who seem fairly happy. And the above is what I notice.

Financial constraints -- and bad teaching and communication about same -- kept me from addressing and moving away from some very significant stressors. Anxiety became severe and chronic and fed into a downward spiral. Despite having very high intellectual marks, from multiple sources, as well as the reputation for being a nice guy (hopefully, without the quotes: "nice guy").

Actually, earlier than that, family and school compelled me to endure chronic abuse and bullying, with no effective help from the responsible adults. That seemed to initiate the core of the anxiety.

Both the family and the rather well-endowed school system plausibly had the resources to make things different, but they didn't.

Back to my point: Pay attention, and use the money to take care of yourself and your environment. This also makes essential social connection easier -- feeling better about yourself. Best proposal I have.

Probably like anybody else although they probably have a better chance for dealing with it since they can afford to take time off to care for themselves and hire the best therapists. Otherwise they are people you and me who just happen to be good at business but this doesn't mean they are better equipped at handling other issues like mental health.

Not sure the HN community can answer this question. Or maybe some of us are billionaires?

There are no-money-problems and to-much-money-problems. I think the later is often misunderstood. Lawsuits are usually a pain, not only for billionaires but for wealthy entities in general. If people know you have a lot of money then they'll try to get a piece of the pie, including the government. So yeah, might be a little stressful.

Though my guess is that if you made to the top and became a billionaire from your hard work, then you can certainly handle stress and anxiety. You might even be a freakin guru at it.

The question makes sense as we as humans will always be worried about something. If you don't have anything to worry, you will complain about the weather. Billionaires somehow found a way to waste their time worrying about really big problems. Their level of anxiety at first will be the same, but applied to bigger things. Others might take it as a game. It all depends of course. Some people get more anxious about facts, problems. Others about dealing with other people.

They probably keep trying to find new interests that can give them hapiness. They will be active in it for a while, and then they go to the next. They might do dangerous things like climb mount everest? They have more hobbies they can choose from (since no money limit). I imagine there's a lot of things that can be harder. Especially socially, always having doubts about people.

I'm taking your question to mean "how do they deal with the normal non-formal anxieties everyone has". I'm theorizing here, I'm nowhere near a billionaire, but I've known some fairly wealthy people (though wealthy with a M, not a B).

+ Diverse investments

Instead of keeping all their eggs in one basket, they tend to be invested heavily across multiple spectrums. Oil and gas, health insurance marketplaces, real estate, etc. Even if one facet of their portfolio crashed, they wouldn't be screwed.

Many of them will even make well known subpar choices to add some "insurance", like keeping a safe full of metal silver and gold bars, or even investing in a well supplied safe room. It's not that they're expecting to use those things or make a profit from holding rare metals, but to them $20k is nothing to invest in a "just in case" fashion.

+ Multiple experts

You or me might have one doctor, they might have three or four they get opinions from. Likewise for accountants or lawyers. This gives them flexibility, better chances for good outcomes, and less likelihood of a single person being able to screw them over.

+ Outsourcing to experts

Most of us probably only go to a doctor or a lawyer when things get way out of our depth. Likewise for an electrician. Someone who is wealthy can afford to apply experts to every problem they have. Instead of only going to a lawyer when they really think things have gone wrong, every single contract can be reviewed by an expert.

+ Concierge services for when things go wrong

Ever have a flight get massively delayed or end up in the wrong city? For most of us, it sucks and we scramble to deal with it. The wealthy can afford custom concierge and assistants who can fix things in a single call. Flight stopped in the wrong city on your way to your exotic adventure? No problem, one call and you'll have train tickets and a cab booked so you don't miss anything.

This applies beyond travel. Health crises in a foreign country? Call the hotline and have a doctor show up at your hotel instantly. Lost in the mountains while hiking? Pick up the sat phone and have a rescue team scramble to your location.

+ Amazing amounts of connections

When we go to a museum and there's a crazy line, we have the choice of waiting or walking away. Someone who is wealthy and a savvy donor can call and arrange a private tour instead. Likewise for getting into sold out shows, better seats at plays, or even booking tables at restaurants. For someone massively wealthy, donating a few thousand a year to local art institutes not only looks good and has tax benefits, but costs relatively nothing and comes with amazing benefits.

Likewise, they get to mingle with actors, celebrities, important leaders, etc. Suddenly the rolodex goes from a few well known friends to an impressive array of people with amazing amounts of power.

Snarky answer: They sleep on piles of money.

Less snarky: They have different anxieties. They don't worry about losing their house or their job. They don't worry about the monthly bills or an unexpected medical event. Instead, they worry about being back in the place where they have to worry about those things. (I think. I'm not, alas, in a position to know first-hand what billionaires are anxious about.)

So they spread their money around. "Divide your fortune into seven, or even into eight, for many are the mischances of the world" is good advice. (It's from Proverbs, in the Bible.) Billionaires do this, so that they can comfortably survive any particular investment going horribly bad.

Then, I suspect, the more aware billionaires worry about their effect on people. They can throw money at friends' and relatives' problems, but that may actually cause more harm than good. I don't know how they deal with that - maybe by having a fixed policy of what they will and won't do, and not deviating from it no matter how good the story sounds.

They become philanthropists.

I don't know, give me 10B and I'll get back to you in a few years.

Why is this on the front page?

It seems a simplistic question, so a simplistic answer is: have a Private Banker.

I’d argue that an “anxious billionaire” is an oxymoron. The qualities that push someone to billionaire status are in direct opposition to someone who has anxiety.