Hacker News Reader

Comment by jimmy1 | Hacker News Reader

I was cynical about talking to people for the longest time. I figured I would forgo seeking the "cookie cutter" advice and went to see my priest -- expecting him to tell me "well you are weak in faith, pray more, say these prayers" etc.

He begins by telling me, "If I take this baseball bat, and smash your knee, would you come tell me, or would you go tell a doctor?"

I said, well obviously the doctor. He said "Ok, go and do likewise."

I went to counseling that week, which included temporary relief via SSRI's. I am still coping, but it is _worlds_ better than it was years ago.

Talking to people, especially that have the same philosophies, helps. If you haven't found the right people to talk to, keep looking. They are out there. It took me 4 tries, but glad I did. I live with a spouse that does not understand depression what so ever, so it is an absolute lifeline to be able to talk to an understanding professional.

View on HN

> It took me 4 tries

In other words: less than 25% of them are right. About the same experience here.

My personal gripe: Most psychologists are feminists. If you explain them a problem you have, they’ll percieve it in a gynocentric way. They are in denial that men can be on the receiving end of a problem or injustice, so much that one of them posited to me that male and female suicide rates were the same. Which tells a lot about the state of science on men’s problems.

See if you can ask your family doctor if you can get a male psychologist then? Mine was quite lenient, at least, and talked me through the options, wanted my opinion, etc.

Men are feminists too, and often more eager and agressive feminists than female ones; as much as top MRAs are often women. Like any ideology, it is not a question of gender, surprisingly.

This can be true, but it's not necessarily always so.

Many years back, my partner was sexually assaulted, so I attended a few of her counseling sessions with the local Rape Crisis center as a support person. The female counselor commented that I was "very brave" to do that - something I found very odd.

Years later, my partner said that the sessions I didn't attend were little more than "man hating" and "man-blaming" for all of the world's wrongs.

I have also attended counseling, as I've recently started to understand the level of physical and psychological abuse that was inflicted upon me by my mother (and her boyfriend, as well as my stepfather) while I was growing up. My counselor was also female, yet not once did she belittle my suffering as less because of my gender. As I described a few events, I'd even hear her let out a gasp or draw a sharp breath, or a few words of concern.

It seems possible to me that you've come across individuals with their own concerns and agendas that lie outside the requirements of their jobs, but I couldn't write off an entire profession based on that.

I wish people would not down vote this. It's actually really common for people who identify as feminists to basically be hating on men. I wrote about something similar here (and I'm a woman, if that matters to anyone):

http://micheleincalifornia.blogspot.com/2014/11/having-sad.h...

Reply on news.ycombinator.com