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If you can show how the CBP is under the jurisdiction of the EU, sure.

I'm pretty sure the CBP would give you the finger and ask you to "come and get it". I really don't understand why Europeans think other nations will follow other nations laws

No dude, the EU Army will back him up, so will the EU Navy and EU Airforce. The law applies globally.

That’s a great scenario, but I believe that sovereign immunity prevents the EU from taking action, barring a treaty.

It's been too long to edit my post, but what makes you think the company that the CBP is using has any EU offices?