Leveraging Introversion as a Career Strength

Over the last 16 years of my work I've noticed that the people who are being promoted are mostly (not all of course) the mediocre ones, who like to talk and make good impression (however hardly making any good work - they are just selling this as good). But they make good impression of how great they are (unfortunately they use lies to proof that, but seems like nobody cares).

A couple of jobs ago the whole management was made by the guys who were petting the boss, and were going out to pub with him. I wasn't. I hate crowded places, and insincere people. When the boss was lying about my work in my half year review, no one from the management said anything. When I was fired because of that - they were afraid of saying anything. They were talking with me that it's not fair, not with the boss. And frankly, I'm really grateful for firing me.

Now I'm still an introvert, however I have wife and kids, and I have to be more open. However only to them.

I'm working remotely as a consultant, so I have no real chances of any leadership promotion. Working remotely is great for people like me. No promotion it not. However the job pays my bills, which is also quite important.

So overall: it's harder, seems like people care more about the impression, not the employee real work.

More generally speaking, I think people model positive and negative personality traits to balance out. Like a fixed skill cap in an RPG. 10 points on charisma means you have to be lacking in some other field. I don't believe this to be true in the real world.

If I look at my personal development, I'm usually tested in the middle of the extrovert/introvert dimension. I've invested in overcoming social anxieties and - it suffices to say it can be done. I'm still somewhat introverted in the sense that I need to recharge sometime in solitude. I don't believe this is a fixed, set in stone need that will never change throughout the course of one's life.

Are there any scientific publications to back up the idea of a fixed personality on the introversion/extraversion skill? Same question for inherent upsides/downsides of a personality on either side of the spectrum.

Because extraverts are more at home in a social setting than alone — again, hard to even imagine for an introvert — they will tend to choose being around people over being alone. Meetings at work. Drinks after work, followed by meeting friends. An awesome day involves being around other people from morning to night, and the next day they are right back at it.

Extraverts also do their processing by talking to other people, whereas introverts talk to themselves a lot more, hence the part of the article about problem-solving alone vs in meetings. Through this lens, the whole concept of a meeting ought to strike introverts and extraverts very differently. This also leads me to believe that introverts and extraverts each have unique strengths.

So many people want socializing to be effortless but it really isn't for me. It takes effort for me to be "present" in social situations. But it's like lifting weights in that even if I find the activity tiring I like the end result so much that I keep doing it day after day.

As an example I just got off a phone call with a couple of co-workers, and I really enjoyed working through a business process with them. But I'm a little bit drained at the moment so I'm taking a short break before I start working again.

It is a spectrum. Being slightly on either side doesn't necessarily matter. It's only important to understand your strengths and weaknesses.

Now I suppose that being on the extreme of introversion might tend to be more detrimental for one's career than being on the extreme of extroversion, but even then I'm not so sure. You can be pretty introverted and successful as a Doctor/Engineer or very extroverted and struggle.

I consider myself something of a bivert. I like public speaking (dozens or thousands), and parties but they are exhausting. I feel socialized, I do not feel energized. I definitely need recovery from social events, and sometimes it takes days of alone time or curt replies, I just do not have the patience to coddle other people's emotional states and I certainly do not expect them to coddle mine. But then I enjoy advocating for people dedicated to whatever it is they're dedicated to - the more energy (or even emotion) they have to go down a rabbit hole that I either have no interest or expertise in, the more I'm interested in helping them by doing the things they hate doing and in some sense living vicariously through their effort. I also can't stand awards, do not care to take a compliment, and am disinterested in looking good just to get another promotion - I only care about the team and/or the project looking good.

Anyway, I definitely think introverts are underrated and misunderstood. And in particular the part of the thread's article about rigid workplace structure and mandates for loyalty and respect for authority is so archaic to me: in a previous life I was a pilot and even before my time as a pilot the industry recognized the stupidity of blind loyalty and respect for the 'captain' perhaps mainly due to the Tenerife accident, and the subsequent invention of CRL/CRM (crew resource management). That style of management seems obvious and the idea corporate workplaces still have this byzantine hierarchy is just boring as well as a business risk lying in wait.

Introverts don't like public speaking. They don't like crowds or certain types of group activities. But they can do them (however much they dislike it) because they aren't anxious about it.

If you clam up in front of a crowd, get sweaty and the shakes, that's anxiety or shyness. That is a separate thing to be addressed from introversion.

An introvert without anxiety is perfectly capable, however much they may want to avoid it, of giving a speech in front of a crowd without a sense of constantly suppressed panic.

To all my fellow introverts, introspect. Consider why you don't like public speaking and crowds. Is it the sensation of tunnel vision and panic? I used to avoid it because I'd develop tunnel vision and be on the verge of panic the entire time. I addressed my anxiety (via counseling), and can now handle it just fine. It's not my preference, and I'm not that skilled at it (lack of practice), but I don't feel like I'm about to breakdown on stage if I'm in front of a few hundred people. I avoid crowds of strangers because I don't enjoy it now, not because I feel a need to cling to the wall.

The only thing an introvert really has to overcome is the idea of avoiding things because of dislike. Sometimes being in a crowd or public speaking is necessary to achieve your goals (if it's not, don't do it). It's like eating vegetables. If you don't like it, but it achieves a desired goal, you do it.

If you're comfortable being an individual contributor for your whole career, you have no need to practice the skills that seem natural to extraverts. I've discovered that's not my goal. I want to change my whole organization for the better. I don't want to become a manager, I'm stepping into roles where I guide managers (more than one, not one at a time). This requires being more social than I prefer (particularly more public speaking and an active role in some types of meetings). But it's something I'm happy to do because we have some systemic issues that hold us back, and I want us to succeed and the only way to accomplish that is to step up and do it.