I understand your sentiment but I switched from iOS to Android 2 years ago and the first thing I noticed was how powerful Android's notifications were. I still own an iPhone which I primarily use for testing web apps etc. and I keep notifications off on that device purely because I hate how it works on iOS. Once you get used to the Android way, you start to realize everything you're missing on iOS.

Here are a few things I like about Android notifications: - Grouped notifications and notification channels make swiping away unnecessary alerts a breeze - One tap to clear all notifications - Reply to text messages through the notification - Ability to take action on a notification without additional swipes (for example, you can "Archive' an email from Gmail's notification without having to swipe left like in iOS - this small UX improvement makes a huge difference if you get a barrage of notifications) - Notification priority - system notifications like alarms etc. are smaller indicating that it isn't as important. You can always expand if you need to. - When you play a song on a music app, the notification changes color to match the most prominent color in the album's artwork. Little fun stuff like this adds some character. - Swipe to mute notifications from an app for a few minutes, an hour etc. without having to poke around settings.

I am sure I am missing a few points but in general, the UX is just a LOT better than iOS's one-style-fits-all design. I know this is a matter of personal preference and that there are surely iOS users who prefer a simple notification list. Worst case, it'd be nice if iOS had the option to toggle between simple listed notifications and a more advanced version that works like Android.