Get a job at Google or your choice of big tech company. Work there 5-10 years, doing a regular amount of nonexceptional work.
There. You are making 400k TC, and should have saved enough for a down payment on a single family home.
If you want some numbers with actual sources, the median software engineer salary for a software engineer in the bay area is around $110-125K, according to Glassdoor[1] and Payscale[2]. You can argue about their methodology, but it's better than the usual "anecdote = average" logic that these HN salary experts employ. Even if equity added an additional 100% of salary (which I have never seen in my life) we're not even close to these oft-quoted $400K figures.
To you guys outside of SF. When you hear people throwing around these anonymously sourced salary figures you need to take them with an enormous grain of salt. These figures are fantasy land.
1: https://www.glassdoor.com/Salaries/san-francisco-software-en...
2: https://www.payscale.com/research/US/Job=Software_Engineer/S...
If there's someone reading this who's interested in working at Google or Facebook but worry the compensation might be too low to live a good lifestyle in the Bay Area, ask actual people who work there for input instead of people who gawk in disbelief at these salaries.