Might be I can imagine if I were working at Tesla on some engineering challenging stuff changing the world for the better.
I am not. It is the same whether I exists or don't.
Note: I do not want to kill my self. It is about the meaning of work at all. The point of it. Why it exists at all.
And when you are at work, you can try to shape your craft, go to a few conferences, try to get something new to your brain.
Also, enjoy life. The endless search for something better will never end and it is one of your best qualities, but don't let yourself, your body and soul suffer and suppress that by letting it make you depressed.
I was kind of like you, then I found a wife, moved abroad, still work with the same stuff as before, but having to adapt to different contexts, culture and language made me grow a lot personally and also I believe in my job. Maybe consider that. If you are American and know those things, hell, even from a third world country(like I was), you can definitely find a job abroad that will give enough problems to solve(immigration is hard) that will keep you busy for a few years...
Wish you the best, cheers.
One note, during the entire time I was sure to keep up on emerging technologies, even if at just a high level. Made my jump back a little easier, however, I still had a slight learning curve.
So what's the job that you have now ?
Most work is unfulfilling. You're in a unique position just to have the possibility that it might not be. You can find jobs that are rewarding, but as a rule of thumb the worst place to look for them is in places that advertise themselves as important and rewarding (and be conned for a second that this doesn't include Musk's companies).
It's more attainable to find reward in the rest of your life, and set your sights on finding a job that doesn't pull on your soul in a way that negatively impacts your private life.
Listen to some Alan Watts lectures
As someone working on a personal project, you don't need to fit in that paradigm and the freedom gained like that make the work more pleasing and even efficient.
Had a conversation about that with a friend on IRC last night and got some interesting insights. His main point was that enjoying the process is the most important thing about a job being enjoyable. Because the process is after all, the thing you do day in, day out.
The most interesting people I've ever met who travelled Europe for most of the year, funded their trips by picking strawberries in Denmark in the summer. However, they were masters at frugality. Couchsurfing, hitchhiking, eating at the cheapest places, thrift shopping, the works.
In theory, couple of months of inflated tech salary should be perfect for such a lifestyle, but strangely enough I don't know any techies living like that. I personally blame the lifestyle creep. Most of my tech worker friends and since recently, myself have quite expensive hobbies.
Quite a rambling post, but I hope it can give someone ideas. Off-hand comments by random anons on HN and other places have often inspired me.
I've been there and whined on IRC about the same topics.
You can also do the same in SEA. That's what I did for 2 years and it's great but you're never really refreshed. That freedom, isn't really real. Illusions aside, work is work.
A few months barely pays off the credit card bills, you need cash in hand and a slightly profitable item. Something that can make $2000-3000/month that's passive is the dream. That's all you need to live in 98% of the world.
So for example, if you are doing React stuff and Redux stuff for a financial application that helps users in "Dealings" to position trades effectively, find out more about those aspects of the equation.
If this doesn't improve your fulfillment, maybe it's time for another set of toys besides programming.
You do not have to work for a large famous company to start making things better. I absolutely believe that if you want to make a big impact in the world, you need to start small - with something closer and around you.
Consider a few things ... (use your imagination) At social level, start small, if you want to make a change to world: 1. Help a Child
2. Teach someone something, may be online.
At personal level:
1. Work on a hobby project, have your own vision for the world.
2. Learn something you would really like to do.
To take things off your current negativity, take a break, may be a vacation, do something you enjoy, Hiking, Music, Books ..whatever is your thing.
It is nice if your work aligns with your life targets but this is rarely a case. For example, I want to become expert in Software Development and try a startup idea when I have enough money. My work as a highly paid contractor is just enabler for above.
Feel free to email niftylettuce@gmail.com
Do you feel challenged at all by your current work? I feel like that's a big piece of it for me. Not necessarily the overall mission but just the moment-to-moment I've done basically the same thing a thousand times before.
it might work for the OP, but then, these places are usually PLAGUED by political maneuverings and restrictions that end up ruining most of the work done by the workers 'on the trenches'.
From personal experience and that of close friends if work was fine before usually there is something bigger going on.
That being said, I strongly believe a meaningful work supplant this somehow. Yeah, maybe I am too pretentious or just trying to cover the sun with two fingers.
90% or more of the work out there to do is pretty damn hollow if you really stop and think about it. The chances of you supplanting such a deep rooted need w/ some "change the world" type work is slim to none.
Focus inward!
Something that might satisfy your itch for meaningful work or something that might "force your hand" in building relationships or interacting with others?
I've always found that when I'm working on something that I'm really interested in, that the positivity of it transferred into my life outside of that work.
Salsa is just a lot of fun and tango is a straight out hug overdose.
Embodiment and socializing are incredibly underrated by capitalism.
Let me know if you choose to follow up. If you are in Berlin or Oregon or the Bay Area or LOS Angeles I can recommend tango teachers.
First I need a moment to myselve to refresh, but I think I dodged a bullet
Because someone finds value in the work you do.
You don't find value, meaning, or identity from work. You find it in other people valuing you - specific people, people you know face-to-face. Having faceless "users" valuing your website doesn't cut it. Even your boss isn't (usually) enough, because you don't have the right kind of relationship with your boss.
That said, you also need work that you find meaningful. If you try to find your meaning in work, you're doomed, because work can't fill that need in you, but work you find meaningless is soul-destroying. So you also need work that you find more interesting/fulfilling. Just don't hang your whole identity on it.