Actually, I still don't disagree entirely, but you did leave out one very important consideration: schools. In many American urban centers the schools are poor, and housing in urban school districts that are good is prohibitively expensive.
So you start looking at suburbs, and the commute is a trade-off you make for the better schools.
Oh, and I wish we could order pizza here -- too far out in the sticks.
I walked to school as a kid, and could walk/bike to my friends' houses until I was 12. Then we moved to the suburbs, and visiting friends had to be worked into my busy parents' schedule -- hence, life got less social.
So, the choice becomes move to the suburbs, home school, or pay up for private schooling of some kind.
Pittsburgh has become a "college town" in some ways. There are several good to very good universities here, and the Oakland neighborhood with Pitt and Carnegie Mellon, has become the economic center of the city in my opinion.