But this doesn't make wine bullshit. I don't give a shit about mechanical keyboards or different fancy fonts but to people who do care and can notice differences they get a lot of value out of them.
This is really important. I think some people think that the reason a $1000 bottle of wine costs that much is that it's so awesomely good that a single sip will give you an orgasm or something like that. That's not it at all. A $1000 bottle of wine costs that much for one reason only: someone with more money than sense is willing to pay that much for it for some unfathomable reason. Even if that person thinks that wine is awesome, there is no reason to think that you will think it's awesome. Everyone has different tastes.
Two reasons I think then. Expensive wines are also made the expensive way. Hand picked grapes off ancient low yield vines. Some even work the ground with horses rather than tractors to reduce soil compacting. Wooden barrels, wooden boxes etc all contribute to make the cost of production much higher...whether you like the taste or not
Wow DRC is expensive in the US! I saw a 30 year old example sell a few weeks ago in the UK for considerably less than that, less than £5,000 ($6,700ish).
Do you have a source for this? I would very much like to read it.
All that being said I get the feeling this is something that someone somewhere saw once 15 years ago, and then the story has just been spreading from there.
How to look like you know about wine when offered a taste. I don't have a great palate, but I have watched the experts...this is how to fit in.
1. Pick the glass up. If it is an older wine hold the glass at 45 degrees and in front of the light. Make a noise like you noticed something. Time for a gentle swirl. If the wine forms into streaks ("legs") it is due to high alcohol or high sugar content. Store that info for later.
2. Put the glass back on the counter-top. Palm-down with the stem trapped between your index and middle fingers swirl it in circles on the counter-top. Make it look like you feel this is important.
3. Sniff. Compost smell is considered bad. If it doesn't smell of compost or vinegar, but something more pleasant make a vague "mm" noise. Don't overdo it. Wine does not have a smell, it has a "nose". If it is fruitier on the nose than the last thing you tried, then it is probably safe to say so.
4. Now take a mouth full and suck air through it as noisily as you can, just like you were told not to when you were a child. If it isn't rancid, give an intrigued look, but don't commit.
5. Spit. A good long spit is the pro-style, dribbling is bad. If there is no spittoon, then swallow. Spitting on someones floor is bad form.
repeat steps 4 and 5. The experts always taste more than once.
6. Now the hard bit, you might get asked your opinion. "interesting" is a great play for time, maybe they will lead. If it is a red and very tannic (dry feeling in your mouth) you could comment that it would be a nice food wine. Now the magic, just like coffee, the longer you can taste it for (the "length") the better the wine. If you get a lovely mixture of spices that is still there in 30 seconds you can safely say it has "good length". If you can still taste it the next morning it either wasn't so good, or you tried a little too much.
Advanced blagging: Wine tastes: Certain regions are supposed to taste certain ways with their own jargon. Here are a few to blag with.
White Burgundy (Chablis, Macconais etc): "minerality" is the word to work in.
New Zealand sauvignon blanc: Grapefruit=good, lemons=bad
Bordeaux: "Full-bodied", "Tannin"
Rhone valley (Chatuex-neuf-de-pape etc): Can you taste green -peppers? say so
Hot dry places (Chille, Australia, California) are supposed to produce fruitier wine than the same grape from France.
White Zinfandel : Don't admit to liking sweet white Zinfandel, unless you are on a hen-night
Germany/ Alsace: You will struggle to blag here, save it for another time.
So maybe that wont help you enjoy wine, but you can show your friends up, and really that is one of the most important things in life.
It was so amusing you almost got away with it untill you conned one of the Koch brothers!
Did they drink from thimbles?
I really can't blame the guests for having trouble identifying it as a particularly superb wine when they don't get enough to coat their tongue.
You need to find a better wine merchant. You need at least enough to fill your mouth twice over...
Just because nobody could tell the difference doesn't mean the cheaper wines were the same as the expensive wines. It just means you served expensive wine at a party where nobody was expecting to have to put effort into analyzing their wine.
Lets not even forget that some of these folks could have a been a few drinks in already...