I use Jitsi Meet links for now, for the rare time I need voice+video, because it works no matter what my contact has installed (more or less)
Also you don't have to use XMPP, Signal is an open source worthy alternative to WhatsApp and FB messenger.
I really want to like Signal, but the phone number requirement just won't work for me. In the last five years, I've had a phone number for only about one year, and it's changed three times. I'm just not good with holding on to phone numbers. It's a large part of why I rarely communicate via phone calls or SMS.
I've tried Wire, but there were issues getting notifications on Android. If this has changed, maybe it can work for me now. I would prefer XMPP but I do like Wire.
I put my entire family on a self hosted server and for them it looks like any other modern messenger. (no voice video calls yep).
It’s nice that we can audit the source code. But it’s kind of pointless if you can’t modify it.
Matrix also has features like bridges to other chat systems, as well as a plethora of clients thanks to being an open standard (the most popular is Riot).
[1]: https://matrix.org/
Even more ridiculous when Walmart almost wouldn't sell me tires because I didn't have a phone number. It took three different managers to figure out how to put in 000-000-0000.
Any app wanting to get push messages _must_ go via Google Firebase Cloud Messaging, other processes with long running services or network connections will be killed off in favor of longer battery life.