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> not accepting myself and a lack of self-love

And you're aware of it! That's a very good first step towards fixing that!

Thank you, it wasnt long before I started thinking if I was undesirable because of my physical features AND my attitude.

It's a slow process and I hope I too can one day have a normal life, with someone by my side.

The physical features aren't nearly as important as you might think. Eg there's plenty of ugly actors who are nevertheless very attractive.

Your attitude is pretty good - you're open and eager to improve. Just continue working on yourself!