Well, it really boils down to

  const path = findThePath();

  class Router extends Component {
    render() {
      if (path === "/about") return <About />
      else if (path.match(someRegex)) {
        const data = parseSomePath(path);

        return <Page { ...data } />
      } else {
        return <Default />
      }
    }
  }

Seems as though React Router has gotten a bit complex because it's abstracted away from the concept of a webpage, such that one can use it in the browser, or React Native (which can be a number of environments).

Of course, I say just buck-up and learn the damn thing, it isn't that complex... earn the "Engineer" in your job title!

Maybe I'm just an out-of-touch neckbeard these days?