- Make sure that you at least quadruple the amount of incompetent middle managers at Microsoft.
- Ensure that all important decisions are made by douchey sales guys.
- Maintain bass-ackwards-compatibility as long as you possibly can.
- Make IE 9 not conform to any standards, especially now that you've said it would. This will allow you to force everyone to make web-apps on your terms, and help you maintain your death grip on the entire industry, and there will be much rejoicing.
- Start more projects that don't go anywhere. I really liked the Kin. Kin One. Kin Two. "vahn-tah-iihm, tooh tah-iihm". It was possibly the most magnificent product you've ever had.
- This reminds me, I think the world is just itching to get their hands on another Zune. Name it something like "Zune For Portable Music PlayersForSure". If you build it, they will come!
- Spend even more exorbitant amounts of money on inane ads. The butt-wiggle was a nice touch, but not enough. Something even more eccentric will help you connect with today's youth. Imagine Lady Gaga in her flesh-attire, licking a Kin 3 prototype while staring intently at the camera. No words, no background music. It will be perfect, and vast quantities of units will be shifted once Kin 3 comes out five years later.
- Whatever you do, please don't write a new OS from scratch. Just keep on keepin' on.
There. That should work. Do it for, you know, the greater good.
Actually I wanted to write something somewhat different, but that would have been downvoted into oblivion.