> you have several multi-decade goals to work towards
Why do you think the goals you listed are worthwhile? Who made these goals and why?
To clarify - the study of systems is not to prove a point of superiority or inferiority or to affirm or deny your value system; it's to observe the features of the system that indicate why things might happen the way they do.
When I say adults shouldn't invest much in friendships, it's not because it's bad for adults to value friendship, but because the investment into friendship yields less results than if they invested it somewhere else.
When talking about systems, it's better to talk about them objectively rather than subjectively, and to consider them from a detached viewpoint. Observation is not the same as association; just because I observe a phenomenon and attempt to write it down doesn't mean I associate with it.
For the goals I stated, I do not have an evaluation about these goals from a worth perspective. I merely point out that those things are the primary long term goals of most adults. There's a lot of others, but those seem to be the most common. I'd be happy to argue why they are, but again, my arguments will come from an objective point of view (the features that going after those goals have that make them so popular) rather than a subjective point of view (what I believe is a worthwhile goal).
It's no wonder that whenever I go back to America or see Americans in my travels I am struck by how utterly shallow and unhappy they seem to be. And the stereotype of the American Smile is already disappearing from people's memories.
That being said, I have found the feeling happiness and contentment impossible to obtain without mutual human companionship. That being said, the amount of human companionship needed is probably heavily variable between humans; I'm sure some people are happier with less. I find it difficult to imagine a well adjusted (non serial killer) person who is perfectly happy with none. If your personal needs for companionship have always been met, I understand why you'd be confused as to why people seek it out so much.
Typically, if one of your primary needs is to feel loved, valued, and cared for, family and friends solves that the best way. Assets do not.
However, not everyone's primary need is to feel loved, although there is a certain level of that needed by everyone. Your primary need may be for things to stable, organized, orderly, or for you to accomplish goals you set out for, or to be consistent with your value system whatever you set up.