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Comment by nikmobi | Hacker News Reader

> Parents can then venmo the other family for the time-cost of the play-date.

Wait, what? Parents are paying other parents for play dates these days?

Many years ago, my friend's mother tried to bill my mother for some perceived amount of food that I was apparently consuming from their house. Which I largely wasn't and was also after the fact so if I knew there would be a bill I would would have turned down the offer of some spaghetti. That put a nail in the coffin of their friendship.

Dude that borders fantasy to me, wow....

Didn't this friend also come by your house to play or stay overnight and ofc, after so many hours playing, wouldn't your mom make yourselves a nice snack for you to charge up and stuff? How come your friend's mom do something as autistic as that?

imho, his mom didn't like you (or was just jealous you were hanging out too much? narcissistic parents and stuff) and just wanted to kill the friendship....

srsly dude, the more you live the more you get spooked by people, thank you for refreshing my view of humanity.

I don't know if reimbursement happens, but kids will bring home a note with the contact details of their playmate, and their parents will schedule it. The whole calendar scheduling, driving, chaperoning etc are things that definitely happens. It's not the age of 'go play with the kids down the street', at least in the urban California I'm familiar with.

Just another datapoint, I've never seen anyone do that (I don't live in urban CA). I think you've just experienced how insular communities can descend into (I'm not trying to offensive in saying this) self-parody at blinding speeds, if they're cut off from outside mixing for too long.

Do what? Drive a kid to a friend's house?

I think they were referencing the "go play with the kids down the street" part.

I'm quite sure they were saying they've never seen this happen:

"but kids will bring home a note with the contact details of their playmate, and their parents will schedule it. The whole calendar scheduling, driving, chaperoning etc are things that definitely happens."

What's also sad is that after schools most kids are bundled into a car and driven off to their next appointment. There is little opportunity for spontaneity in life for Car Kids. Like play-dates, everything is rostered.

There are a few who walk home from my son's school and it's great to see them take 30 minutes to play or even just sit together throwing cut-grass in the air.

Also if there isn't anything scheduled, they're driven home and will do what they like - back in the 80's, what Stranger Things likes to idealize, that was hanging out with friends, nowadays that's playing video games.

Actually Stranger Things already alludes to that.

My eldest (12yo) has several friends nearby (<2 miles, easy biking) and I always try and encourage her to just go out and meet up with friends. Its like a foreign concept to her though. I've finally had some recent success, but its just so weird that I have to prod her into what amounts to going out to have fun with friends.

Everything is too scheduled. Its hard to break out of the "if it isn't schedule, it isn't happening" model when everyone in the family is so busy. We try and encourage independence even in our youngest, but "free time" is at a premium.

NOTE: my kids aren't "neurotypical" and have lots of appointments, etc adding an extra layer of "busy"

My 5yo kid regularly comes home with a phone number scribbled down of their friend's parent's cell # that they got from a playmate from school. I've called and setup several play dates this way. I just drop my kid off to play at their house or have their kid come play at our place. Based on conversations with other parents in my neighborhood, this is the norm.

Sadly, kids in our direct neighborhood don't generally mingle or have unschedule play. Definitely different from the way I grew up (grew up in the 90s: little to no supervision, just wandered the neighborhood.)

Anecdotally, I know of a Singaporean whose brother charged for taking the daughter with his kids on holiday. He didn't outright make it a billable item but made it a markup on flights and hotels. Both are HNWIs for whom the amount is as trivial as a dollar menu item at McDonald's.

It was satire--the point is that that is a certain style of parenting taken to its conclusion.

Well if you take your kid to kidcreate or something like that then you do pay for the play date!

Well, yeah. Not for the profit of other parents, mind you--that'd be gauche. the money's just to cover the fees of whatever venue the play date's to be held at.

That is, unless you're arranging play dates at free / public venues... like some kind of common poor.

What happened to a kid just going to a friend's house and playing with them there?

Maybe I'm old now, but the whole concept of "play dates" rubs me the wrong way...

Where I live playdates happen at homes and if you are taking the kids out somewhere generally the parent taking them out pays.

I think/hope GP is being sarcastic. I've never seen anyone reimburse anyone for a playdate.

I also live in a neighborhood where you see everyone outside regularly so a lot of it is spontaneous.

Even with my wife's moms group that has arranged playdates, though, no one pays anyone else.

That's just another way of paying. Next week it's your turn to host the playdate.

That's significantly different than paying someone in cash. (Also, I didn't say they rotate, they do, but it's not among everyone. Some people have larger houses and are happier to host so they do it more often.)

It's a joke / hyperbole for effect :)

Give it like a year. Then it will be a sad reality.

Maybe not "play dates" but certainly for "babysitting".

Oh wow, that sounds insane to me.

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