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> People have families and relationships and health issues outside of work that never the less it may be helpful to discuss

This is one of the problems I had with my managers who like to do one-on-ones. They always wanted to talk about things outside of work. Got to the point where I just wanted to say none of your effing business, but I tend to be more polite than that in a professional setting.

For me work is its own thing. I don't go there for friends, relationships, entertainment, mental health or medical advice, and don't expect my employer to provide or want to be involved in those things.

You’re not alone, although we are hard to employ in the BA it feels. I feel it’s partially due to the prevalence of divide and conquer and creatives’ pattern recognition, I’ve also been pushed off a hand worth of jobs since moving here for non-performance reasons (ie. social/cultural), leaving me pretty apprehensive and alone with damaged confidence. Not watching Silicon Valley or Black Mirror feels like the next outgroup indicator in development. The latter experience alone is enough to scare off any manager who wants to talk life outside of work (never mind my extensive pre-sf success and big circles, I must disclaim, I still feel like a good person who just wants to move on and thrive personally and professionally).

> Hmm... so you aren't one of those people who feel uncomfortable bringing things up to their boss. That doesn't mean they don't exist.

I understand that. But I do tend to hire employees who are not like that. Regardless, I feel like having often scheduled 1-on-1s are an unproductive method of bring things up.

> One of the fundamentals every manager needs to learn is, people are not all like you. Extroverts may need someone to bounce ideas off of. Introverts may need a time to bring something they have been thinking about to your attention, because otherwise they assume you don't want to be bothered. > People have families and relationships and health issues outside of work that never the less it may be helpful to discuss if it impacts stress, times they can be in the office, their work flow, etc.

I don't disagree with that at all. But I do disagree that often scheduled 1-on-1s are the best solution for that.

> And then, and this is truly important, there are interpersonal relationships in the office. Are two employees not getting along? Having a 1:1 with them will often let you get both sides of the story, instead of, potentially, hearing nothing about it.

Which I have done. But again, I'm talking about often scheduled 1-on-1s.

> Finally, while your bosses may have been fine with you discussing something with them any time you wanted, or fine with an email on a topic, I personally hate being interrupted, and would prefer anything like that be scheduled, and find that in person or video chat conversations are helpful in providing context that text communications, especially those that aren't in real time and interactive, may lack.

I find that scheduled things just delay information, and its better to be interrupted. My belief is that a manager's job can require them to interrupted often. Its just the nature of management.

> so you aren't one of those people who feel uncomfortable bringing things up to their boss. That doesn't mean they don't exist.

Not at all. I'm happy to complain all day long, but what good does it do week after week? 1:1s are not a make everyone happy and not an opportunity to retread the same old stories. We work in the same place, we see the same things. We don't work together that closely, you're too disconnected to understand and taking up time from my actual responsibilities. Weekly 1:1s aren't just a sign, but proof of bad management in any company.