A particularly glaring issue is this offhand comment:
> this is a statement about what happens when the null hypothesis is actually true. In real research, we don't know whether the null hypothesis is actually true. If we knew that, we wouldn't need any statistics! In real research, we have a p value, and we want to know whether we should accept or reject the null hypothesis.
That isn't a question that any statistical approach will help you with. There's a reason we talk in terms of "rejecting" or "failing to reject" a hypothesis. We don't do statistical tests to accept hypotheses, only to reject them.
The concept of accepting one hypothesis based on a comparison between it and one other hypothesis is ludicrous on its face, suffering exactly the problems associated with Pascal's wager.