Ask HN: How do I tell my founder I'm out? | Hacker News Reader

Ask HN: How do I tell my founder I'm out?

9 pointsghopper16 comments

I've been part of an amazing startup the past few years. The products and work we've done as a small group (~20 people) has been astonishing, but its time for me to move on.

How do I tell the founder (who I've been along side of since the beginning) its time for me to move on? I know he's not prepared to lose a main player in our tight knit group. I owe a good deal of what I've become to him but I need new experiences, new people, and to learn new things. I feel remorseful leaving while hard work continues daily and I'm not sure how to approach him about this.

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He may already sense something isn't right so it could be a lot easier than you think. Someone leaving the company always has the added bonus of reducing overheads and increasing runway (this is little consolation if you're irreplaceable). I wouldn't worry about it too much, he'll survive and you'll feel infinitely better once you've said those words.

> this is little consolation if you're irreplaceable

This is probably the biggest mistake people make when talking about leaving a job.

So few employees are truly irreplaceable that you may as well just say that no employee is irreplaceable. It's good for the ego to believe you are but the truth is that companies make do, get by, and recover.

Honestly the "irreplaceable" people I've seen who do leave have been so egotistic and strong-willed that things end up better in the long run.

Note to anyone reading this: Please don't reply and say "well in my case..."

Well in my case... I've never found anyone irreplaceable either.

It doesn't seem to be the case here but I could see how a technical co-founder could be irreplaceable to a non-technical co-founder.

Time is the only healing factor in these situations. No matter how you bring the news, it'll take some time for everything to settle.

Pick a last date with plenty of time (say 3 months). Write down your thoughts in a doc - make it detailed and touchy with reasons for leaving, a rough transition plan, timeline. Schedule a lunch. The night before, send the doc. So that he reads the doc, gets 12-14 hours to digest and think, and then reconcile with you and work out a transition plan.

If it were really that amazing, you wouldn’t be leaving. Give 2-4 weeks notice, be generous about the positive aspects of your experience, give honest feedback but only if asked. Any founder that can’t live with that doesn’t deserve better.

it's just a job, say that you want to leave, maybe the "founder" will try to bring you closer to the company, by making you founder also, if you want, of course, otherwise jus get out.

if the products and work you guys did is making money or making the founder "more successful", he's the one who is getting the most benefits, why should you bow to him/her? just say you want to quit and not burn bridges, and even if you do, whatever...

people work because of money and success, you gave them both, so you can leave without any concerns and you better leave, so maybe you can also get both.

What is the reason, you don’t see a future for the company or you don see a future for yourself in the company? Maybe just tell him the truth...

As with any great venture, its usually the people who make the difference. We don't have the "right" people (not to say we have the "wrong people" either) for everything to take off, and I can't see that happening any time soon without massive changes.

Also, the little to no new dev work, very stressful environment, long hours, poor pay (I wasn't in it for the $) has been difficult...Overall my heart is elsewhere and mentally I'm tired.

You can engage with the founder, describe the problems - as you see them, ask him if he concurs or not. This will produce a number of possible 'forks' to solve the problems with the organization and the people, depending on what portions he agrees/disagrees with. You can engage experienced VC funders/founders to see if there is hope, and to assess the structural or personnel problems. The hope may lie in engaging with the people/processes who are assessed as 'the problem'.

If the problems are quantifiable and people can be educated to see/solve them there is hope. You can be re-capture the start-up thrill and elan that made you all work hard and succeed. Failing this? Find a company that has solved these problems and who has the right people and sell out/merge with them.

This might mean some hard decisions to eliminate the obstructive people with separation shares and agreements to allow them to leave and not want to sue or otherwise harm the company.

Total failure wastes all you and the founder have done to date, so adapt to thrive...

Unfortunately due to bureaucracies and politics, the investors (and founder) have a very particular point of view and change is nearly impossible.

Some of us have tried (multiple times) in the past to rekindle that thrill and excitement but issues still persisted and nothing changed. With enough time (almost) anything is possible, I just can't wait around forever for promises to be made and broken over and over again.

I fear many small failures are unavoidable in the short term (2+ years) and I need to focus on my own personal and career growth for me and my family.

Yes, I know the feeling, having had similar political BS affect me. In that case, you do indeed need to act in your own best interests. The act of divesting your interest will send a signal to them, which might waken them up, but from what you say, they would have to exit to keep the company alive and have others rebuild the company - which you indicate will not happen (broken promises etc). So manage your exit as best you can. Do not spread any bad words against them, it will look like sour grapes and might be actionable. The founder(s) might want to taint you in some manner after you leave, but the people in the business area you are in will not be fooled, they will lay the blame where it should go. Sadly, there are few ways to glorify an exit, especially if they crash and burn after you leave, so you might have to wander in the wilderness for a period before you get on your feet. Good luck with the process.

So umm, it sounds like you made attempts to change the situation and there was no improvement forthcoming. Give notice of 2 weeks (3 weeks if you are really broken up about it) and move on with life. You are not paid well, don’t have enough skin in the game, and aren’t working for a charity. Whatever loyalty you have for your employer should be tempered by the fact that he did not value the opinions you have expressed previously. When you leave, you can either be honest or just say you are moving on to new opportunities that will help you move forward with your career and your ability to take care of your family. The latter should ensure your ability to get a good recommendation for your next job.

Well I had the conversation finally.

It unfortunately went pretty much as I expected.

The investors were completely understanding, thanked me for my hard work and wished me well as they know its time for me to move on. For them, this showed another point where the founder was unable to manage himself and the work properly.

Hopefully we can all give the founder feedback (if he will take it without being offended) on how to make the best use of his and our time working hard as a team.

Been there. I wanted to leave but at the samd time felt like I was leaving my partner in lurch. So I offered to stick around for a longer timeline of an year. This gave me a feeling of doing the best I can. And helped me initiate conversation.

You can choose a timeline that suits both sides.

Just been through something very similar recently - it’s tough, but if your needs are not being met then you need to have that conversation - be as straight as possible and try to plan for an orderly transition.

Are you a founder or an employee?

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