Ask HN: How do you usually deal with toxic co-workers?

3 points·alphaka··8 comments

- in the case where you have little or no choice to make them (or yourself) leave the job

My answer is: Unsuccessfully.

A different, more useful question is: How should you deal with toxic co-workers?

It depends. Here's a guideline:

1. If you can, talk with the coworker about what's making them toxic.

2. If that doesn't work, or if you can't talk with them, then talk with HR or the lowest-level boss that you have in common.

3. If that doesn't work, then do what you can to not work with that person.

Good luck.

It would probably help if you spelled out what you mean by toxic in this circumstance. There are some grades of toxicity that go from mildly annoying to police involvement.

Agreed. Toxicity is such a broad range of behaviours that really a fuller story needs to accompany the posted topic.

i also agree, and apologize for not narrowing it down. the reason is probably that the circumstance overarch the various degrees this term may entail.

but it generally involves throwing blames for mistakes or delays, inconsiderate/provocative language, disorganisation and lack of focus ...

If you cannot leave (which is a lot harder than some folks believe), then documentation is basically your main answer. E-mail eventually hangs a lot of people. Sadly, a lot of this stuff is solved by the exit interviews with HR, but then its generally too late.

It’s the dose that makes the poison.

Usually anyone referring to someone as 'toxic' is the one unwilling to meet halfway. Start bu realizing you are both terrified little humans, bridge the gap, and move on with life. No person is 'toxic', only or reactions to them.

Tldr; You can only fix you, so start on it.

I leave. Any workplace that tolerates (and often even elevates) such people is beyond salvage.

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