That is the difference between them and Tesla engineers - people killing is a bug in self-driving cars, not a feature.

I doubt it. Such people take the job knowing that the products of their endeavours will be used as weapons. Those who dislike this will either not apply for the job or will leave it relatively soon. On the other hand engineers going into the car business go into it with the knowledge that their products kill and injure fewer and fewer people per kilometre travelled every year so each actual death looms larger.