>> And every guide for the game basically starts with "Subscribe, and don't log in for 3 months while you get your newbie pilot some basic skills, or if you do log in, don't do much because you're useless anyway"
This really isn't true (at least it wasn't some years ago when I last played). What's true though is that the game is complex and does a terrible job of explaining itself. Unless you already know experienced players, the activities immediately available to you as a new player have no resemblance to the "real" game.
It's up to you to explore, get yourself blown up (a lot, ideally), figure out what you're doing, and find a niche. There's plenty to do as a new player that doesn't require months of skill points.
If it winds up speaking to you, the game is absurdly fun and absorbing. I burned out on it years ago, and still remember specific fights and weird adventures I got into.
Edit: My experience as a new player is years out of date, hopefully it's better now. But the real learning curve is always going to be steep.