Get married.
It sounds like you have had at least a decade of dating. What are you waiting for?
It sounds like you have had at least a decade of dating. What are you waiting for?
I sure didn't mean to sound hard, but sometimes the way through a problem is the way around the problem. Kind of like this illustrates.
I'm not eager to get married next month, nor do I feign to be. I'm worried about making a decision to relocate to the Bay for several years and eventually running against this problem when I do want to get married.
2nd Tip: There are over 100 cities in the SFBA. The dating pool is plenty large.
Best.
https://www.kqed.org/news/11231284/does-san-jose-deserve-the...
What I can change is not enter a situation in which I will be disadvantaged, have to compete with a large group of men over a tiny selection of very picky women:
> “I think it’s pretty good for the girls,” chimes Elizabeth Harris, a recent transplant from Los Angeles who finds San Jose’s legions of eager men “refreshing.” She was the only woman sitting at a bar lined with men at downtown’s Mission Ale House — aka the “Mission Male House.” “You can be more picky. They have to try harder. They all try to one up each other.”
https://www.mercurynews.com/2009/02/10/tech-jobs-led-to-man-...
That article us from 2009, and the situation got a lot worse since then.
I appreciate the attempt to help, but you are advising to "not worry" about very bad statistics that I can also confirm from my own experience. There's no way to simply handwave away the fact that there's a ton more men than women in the Bay, and this scarcity of women combined with the fierce competition makes the dating scene in the area very favorable to women and disfavorable to men.
Just like the lady in the article said.
There are a time and a half as many people in San Jose as in the entire state of Alaska, so there being more single men in San Jose than Alaska says nothing.
There are 134 single men for every 100 single women in San Jose.
That means that even in the unrealistic best-case scenario that all the available single men find a perfect female match, then out of every 100 single men, 27 will still have no partners left to date.
Assuming a closed dating pool (both geographically limited and no turnover over time), and all single people of both genders both looking for a partner and exclusively heterosexual, sure.
Of course, all of those assumptions are very false, so it means nothing of the sort.
I addressed both of those in my post:
1. Yes, you can theoretically date women in San Francisco if you live in San Jose. No, it will not be pretty. You will end up commuting for hours each way. Also, the ratio is bad in the whole Bay area, not just in San Jose. So even if you're willing to spend hours on the 101 every time you want to see you partner, it's not like it's easy to find dates on the 101.
2. There is turnover over time. The Bay and especially SF keeps getting less affordable for anyone except techies. As a result, mostly male techies move in, and more women leave. So it's not static - it's getting worse.
3. Of course there are some gay men and women, but the majority of men are still heterosexual. So out of these 27 men, maybe a couple would be gay. Balance that against a 5-6 gay women, and it's a wash.
Saying a huge 100/134 gender imbalance "means nothing" is extremely inaccurate.