Comment by skc | Hacker News Reader

Comment by skc | Hacker News Reader

This article hit me hard because I've always tended to look at away from anyone who is disabled. Partly because I feel I'm being rude, partly because I don't like to see people suffering (even though in most cases disabled people aren't necessarily suffering).

But I recently had my first child two weeks ago and leading up to his birth I was tormented by the thought of him being born with a disability. What would I do. How would I react to people feeling about him the way I felt about disabled people? So I subconsciously decided to "man-up" and stop cowering away from disabled people and embracing them as I would anyone else.

I completely understand where this father is coming from but I feel foolish that it's taken this long and this circumstance to get to that point.

My son turned out perfectly fine in the end, but I'm glad he taught me a little something.

Two weeks is not enough to tell if your child is perfectly fine. Not to be negative, but there are plenty of developmental issues that may not surface for weeks, months or years. That doesn't change anything of course. Love your child as if he's "normal" because for him he is.

I have a child with developmental issues (autism). It's mild enough that he was not diagnosed until last year just before he turned 6. It's hard to treat him as a "normal" person when he's engaged in stereotypical autistic behavior (e.g. having a meltdown because today I accidentally broke what routine he expected just a little bit). But those episodes don't negate the fact that he's a human and needs (and feels) just as others do.

>> My son turned out perfectly fine in the end

your son has plenty more opportunities to be other than fine in so many possible ways. Perhaps he'll even do it to himself.

We can all keep striving to be less binary when assesing other people.

“Perfectly fine” —- well, you’re only two weeks in! Enjoy the wild ride :)

Hahahahah. "2 weeks" is when they finish the 2-week post-natal nap and the excitement begins.

> I don't like to see people suffering

That's quite rude, but common. People suffer whether you look or not. The discomfort you feel is your instinctive recognition that something is not right, and you can fix it or flee it. Usually people flee.

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