Ask HN: Can a co-founder work remotely?

While I am a strong proponent of allowing employees to work remotely when the culture is built for it, a co-founding relationship is a marriage. It's one of those cliche startup tips that is actually true. If you are remote, the more "face to face role" co-founder might get the feeling of being out to war while the partner is comfortable at home.

One of my biggest regrets in my first failed company was that I did not encourage my co-founder to move to my city for a few months.

Even a temporary relocation to your co-founder's city will greatly improve your productivity and comradery, building a foundation for which a future "long distance relationship" might be possible if still risky.

My cofounder and I are remote now after having lived together for 2.5 years. I think a lot of remote first companies do this, but it only works based on a good working relationship. 99% of the time, a lot of folks will tell you it doesn't work, but you'll also find the bulk of companies aren't remote and can't get work done without an office in the first place.

It really comes down to your working relationship with your cofounder rather than location.

Honestly, your cofounder doesn't sound like someone I would want to ever work with. We both did what it takes and shared duties like that.

That being said - your situation doesn't sound healthy in general. Working remotely without a proper structure or know how of what you're getting in to usually leads to bad professional relationships and strain. This is due to meetings happening in person and the other guy being "left out". Communication is the biggest problem and something you should know how to cope with in general if you're working remote.

Your team doesn't seem to have the structure to manage this.

I won't comment on what will be better or worse for your living situation, I am merely stating my observations relative to your situation. For context, my cofounder and I live in different countries, not just different cities. We make it work fine and have for the last few years.

I thinks its unfair to expect one partner to do a larger part of the day to day activity that would normally spread between the both of you.

IMHO: You may need to step down as a partner or reduce your salary. That way your partner can use the extra funds to hire an office manager to take on the role that you cannot fulfill being remote. Otherwise you will need to physically move with business.

I've seen businesses fail because of burn out quickly. One partner doesn't feel that other isn't picking up the slack. The partner that feels neglected either stopping doing what they are doing to push the other person take responsibility. Or they just walk away, cut their loses, and call it a life lesson for everyone.

Office stuff and human relations sound like the CEO's job to me. If not CEO, someone the CEO hires to do it.

It's not like you're pulling this working-remote stuff on him out of the blue. The success you've found so far is every bit a result of your work arrangements. You're the one shouldering the burden of extreme commuting, what's the CEO sacrificing?

We don't have enough information to decide if your CEO is failing to lead, you as CTO are failing to delegate, or both.

It sounds like you are not 100% committed to the startup. Personally if I was your co-founder I would be unhappy and an unhappy co-founder is not something that I would want to have.

I think you need to decide if you are 100% committed or not and let your co-founder know. If you are not 100% in then find a way to ease yourself out so that you can be replaced with someone who is - it is better that you do this rather than wait for your co-founder to do it for you.

> It sounds like you are not 100% committed to the startup.

Is "100% commitment" - in the sense of putting company before e.g. family - a necessary ingredient of a startup? Some people's 90% is worth more than other people's 100%, especially where domain knowledge is involved. There are even "lifestyle startups" in which none of the principals are devoting 100% to the company. Having been at ten startups, sometimes in leadership roles (though not a founder), I question the assumption that the problem here is with the "not 100% committed" founder. Maybe it's with the other founder's attitude that if they're putting in a certain effort then their partner must too - regardless of productivity, despite prior arrangements. That kind of attitude can turn into a race toward burnout, which is not good for anyone involved.

Well, you can have a lifestyle startup, but not where it's a lifestyle startup for one founder and not the other...You are correct, however, that the OP might be sufficiently committed from the objective standpoint of contributing to make the startup successful. But if the two founders are not aligned on what "committed" means, that is a recipe for disaster.

I think communication is really important. Many people do a poor job of working remotely. They have no idea whether this person is working or just sitting at home watching Netflix.

Constant communication helps to ensure that there is a flow of progress. This can be a daily update, or even lots of real time messaging.

It is much like a long distance relationship. Just keep your partner updated a lot, show you still care.

> my co-founder has started to complain that he has to take care of all the office stuff, human relations, etc. on his own.

Try to forge a path together. Managing people/admin problems are common early-stage growing pains. More and more companies work in distributed teams. Find a way to shift the work responsibilities.