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Comment by julianilson | Hacker News Reader

Fellow expat here. This problem had been on my mind for years. Like you said, the main challenge is how to spot the most compatible people in a sea of strangers that are in a similar phase in life. I built We3 to try to make this easier (and it looks like it's working!). We launched recently and matched around 30k people already.

It's a mobile app where profiles are private. And it connects people in groups of 3, but not only based on interests, but personality, lifestyle, values, etc. It would be awesome if we could connect a bunch of this crowd IRL. What do you think? https://we3.app.link/

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Looks like a cool tool, but I just wanted to add that I'm a man with at least 50% female friends, so restricting me to only making friends with men is a shame.

I think we've moved past the whole "not being able to be friends with someone of the same gender" thing (nevermind the fact that people of the same gender can date!). There are probably better ways to tackle people using the app for dating.

Yeah, it was a tough call tbh. The thing is that most other apps slide into dating territory because that's where the money is. And it ends up ruining the experience for everyone who's not there to find a mate. Wrote up a longer post on the reasoning here [1]. It's definitely in the roadmap, we're just two guys working on this, so it'll take a bit of time to manage that transition carefully.

[1] https://www.we3app.com/why-tribes-same-gender/

I think you guys made a great decision as it definitely sets your app apart. It made it very clear that it's about finding friends, rather than a potential mate.

As another fellow expat, my main issue is trying to make friends with locals or other people that are outside the "expat bubble."

From my experience, those who stay in expat bubble too long become really toxic (both the expats and the locals that hang around them).

I've been learning the local language and have made a lot of progress by just getting involved in specific hobby groups like hiking and birding.

It's tough but rewarding.

>I think we've moved past the whole "not being able to be friends with someone of the same gender"

I think you meant to say "of the opposite gender".

I find it difficult to make friends with people of both genders, but my hobbies and interests seem partitioned strongly to one gender, virtually making the other gender seem alien and extra hard to make friends with. I don't know why that's the case, and it seems to be one of the great questions of our time along with others like what dark matter is. :0 Indeed, some of them seem to FEIGN interest for the purposes of mate seeking, but questioning each and every person's motives would devolve us into some kind of McCarthyist wasteland of jade, toxic cynicism.

One possible solution is to keep gender secret in interaction. Another would be to segregate interactions by gender. We3 chose the latter. I whine at the strangeness and unfashionable nature of humanity, but I can't whine at We3's decision. It seems to keep everything pretty--

>(nevermind the fact that people of the same gender can date!)

We're back to the wasteland.

Albeit a smaller wasteland, statistically.

I meant opposite, yes!

> I find it difficult to make friends with people of both genders, but my hobbies and interests seem partitioned strongly to one gender, virtually making the other gender seem alien and extra hard to make friends with.

I don't think the fact that you find it hard to do so should be a reason to restrict your user-base. I see a case for single-gender outings and understand that some people would prefer such outings, but I think co-ed outings could add to the app.

EDIT: Just saw your link on why tribes are single gendered. I didn't really take the creep-factor into account. Maybe a 2 on 2 female/male ratio would help reduce it, best of luck with figuring it out, it's a tough nut to crack!

I like the idea, but aren't you worried that Grant Morrisson or DC will complain about the name?

[0] https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/We3

Not really. We do completely different things, so I think we're in the clear. The USPTO gave us the trademark protection, too. :)

Ah, true.

Just avoid using a dog, cat and rabbit as your mascots I guess ;)

btw, the We3 product screenshot of the man calling the other men "ladies" and the video of Donny touching the crying girl are in poor taste.

Yeah. Going to be replacing that soon. Thought it would be a good way to kill two birds with one stone: have an explainer video that was also worthy of press coverage. And it kinda worked, but it made some important people distance themselves because of the politics. Thanks for the note.

Is there any reason why this is a mobile only app?

I have a strong preferences not to use apps that are mobile only. And I firmly believe that communicating on mobile has a hard time turning into something more substantial. People nowadays are used to quick status updates while on mobile. Look at the popularity of Snapchat. Why bother writing something when I could just post a picture on Instagram?

It is difficult to make friends when you are over 30, and I think with society stuck on the internet and mobile, it will be even more difficult. At least break free from mobile.

Yeah, totally get what you're saying, but unfortunately people's behavior and perception of the product is different when something is on mobile, especially with an online matching service. Tinder was able to break down the stigma of online dating because they were on mobile only. I'm hoping We3 will be able to break that stigma for friendship matching.

I never said there was a stigma. Conversations are just more vapid on mobile. No effort is put in, while people take their time when not on mobile.

If I am looking to build a friendship, mobile is not the place I would look. Hookup? Tinder/mobile is awesome.

Is this just a data collection app? Do you monetize the data because it asks for so damn much.

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