Great article. I chuckled quite a bit. This reminds me of my attempts to check out Cardano. There was no working Linux client.
(I checked again today: Still no Linux client. The latest release of the software appears to be from September 2017).
I then tried to build from source. I'm doing some Node development so I have Node v8.x installed (the current LTS version). Turns out the wallet requires Node v6.
At that point I gave up. I also read that Cardano has some great concepts but right now it's still in its first, centralized phase.