Just want to say that your style of argument has me in awe. It's feels close to the patronizing line, but it's obviously not.
I think you just assume the best from people and I really like that.
I think you just assume the best from people and I really like that.
Mostly I assume people mean well but suggest silly things because they're ignorant. Reading Dale Carnegie taught me that you have to tell people they're right and stroke their egos a bit before you can imply that they might have the wonderful opportunity to become more right.
It's honestly exhausting to implement. It's a lot of hoops to jump through to tell someone that they don't actually understand what they're talking about. However... most people do not typically respond well to being flatly told they're wrong. Explaining how and why they are wrong does not generally improve matters, as people usually stop honestly listening as soon as they hear "You're wrong".
As you say, it does run the risk of coming off as patronizing. It's hard to avoid that entirely, as different people sometimes have drastically different standards.
Definitely. I read your post as very patronizing (even though I agree with it) because you started with "Your heart is in the right place." That's just a sugar-coated way tell a child "nice try but you're extremely naive". IMO it's better to skip telling someone they are wrong like a child and skip right to the rebuttal without including any references to the parent author (an ad-hominem).
I agree, and I think there'd be a lot of developers who feel the same way (re: wanting to help, valuing freedom of access to scientific information). I wonder, though, if there's really that much we can do as developers. There are of course some vulnerabilities that can be mitigated with good code on the server, but most attacks are impossible to prevent without the resources that a company like CloudFlare can marshal. Unfortunately, the state of the art for responding to DDoS attacks requires a big network, a lot of bandwidth, and active management.
But, obviously, I did not. What I've found is that, if you run light on the praise and ego-stroking, people often either view it as token and ignore it or skip past it entirely. It's a fishhook that lets you smuggle your actual points past defensive mechanisms. You have to set it deep before it's actually useful.
And then you have to wrap your point in completely unjustified uncertainty anyway, to be sure that whoever you're interacting with doesn't feel attacked. People who feel attacked generally aren't listening to, engaging with, or learning from your points.