Like most children, I loved insects. In 2nd grade I wrote a poem about insects that so impressed my teacher that I was promoted from the “slow” 2nd grade class to the “advanced” 2nd grade class. It’s my first memory of experiencing pride.
But I didn’t actually love insects, I loved studying them. To the young mind these are just animated toys which you could freely disassemble and experiment.
When I was around 9, I recall taking my collection of insects and using my saliva as to perform a pre-selection test to determine which insects in the collection could potentially be amphibious. The next step was to take the ones that performed well and increase the severity of the experiment in hopes of discovering an amphibious insect.
My father was in our yard at the time and, for some reason, I paused to ask, “is it OK if I kill these bugs”. To which he replied “you can kill them, but don’t let them suffer”. I don’t recall if I proceeded with my full water immersion experiment. But I do recall the use of the word “suffer” had implications that would soon end all my research. Kill is used metaphorically in mechanical systems, you “kill” an engine, but it comes back to life later. But there is no creative interpretation of the word suffer.
Years later I had the similar experience my first year in EE grad school. I wanted to research/improve cochlear implants as aiding the disabled is a noble pursuit of study. But then I went to meet a friend of mine, a PhD candidate, in the lab, he was literally eating a sandwich, talking to me, while operating on auditory system of a chinchilla. Maybe it was a cadaver, it was a really healthy-looking one if it was and I didn’t ask. I just wanted to leave so he could focus on his patient and so that I could reconsider what else I could study.
To be clear, my comment is not a criticism of biological research and I am grateful for the resulting knowledge and benefits. It is Sunday morning and I just felt compelled to write.