Skype Etiquette
techcrunch.com
techcrunch.com
He hits the nail on the head on the rest of the article though.
As much as i dislike Arrington, he's absolutely correct on this. And as the comment above notes, this is just as applicable for communication on IRC as it is for Skype (well save for the video bit).
As Arrington's posts are applicable to basically every IM protocol, i'm confused as to how you think Arrington's (and my) "gripes would be easily fixed by matching [...] usage [...] to [the] issues/requirements for them".
This is basically a spam filtering problem, and you're blaming the guy getting spammed.
Only the gripe displayed in the video (and #2 on his list) is a spam issue, and it's trivially fixed by disabling auditory alerts, which are not only generally useless but systematically annoying.
Let's check the other ones:
> It’s not a conversation until both sides are engaged.
Maybe it's not a conversation at all, and just an RFI or whatever. Furthermore, if you're not available set your status to one that matches instead of marking yourself as available at all time.
You can even default your status to "Not Available" or "Do Not Disturb". That way, people won't assume you're available... which is what you're saying by using the "Available" status.
Waiting for a SYN/ACK on IMs is entirely useless and highly counter-productive, you can ACK when you reply. In fact it's very annoying because I'm out taking a shit and instead of asking whatever you need and going on with your life as I come back and reply, you're either waiting in front of your screen for my ACK, or you're gone doing something else and by the time you come back I've ACKed and then I'm gone again, resetting the whole process.
If you want to converse, use VOIP.
> Don’t just jump right into a phone call. It’s polite to send a chat message first saying “online? time for a quick Skype call?” It’s annoying when the Skype phone starts ringing randomly.
it doesn't ring randomly, it rings when somebody calls, because they have something to tell you in person. Don't want to answer the call? Then don't
> And all I wanted was a little bit of quiet.
See again, use your status already, if you're not available say you aren't.
> Video calls are not a God given right. Just because you want to do video right now doesn’t mean I want to.
Settings > Video > Show that I have video to > no one.
> Don’t assume confidentiality.
That has nothing to etiquette, it only has to do with not being retarded.
Why not "if you want to converse, go visit them"? Most of the time when I want to converse, I want to use text rather than deal with all the baggage of audio and trying to manage social context -- context which is mostly absent in text.
Because you can't hit a button and be at their doorstep. With skype, calling and texting have the same technical cost.
Basically, I would say that calling and texting have very different social costs, but calling and visiting are much closer that way, and that this is why it's almost always better to text than call, even for extended conversations.
This is all amplified when you have virtual teams. Those more complex conversations are more manageable when you are face to face. People can express how busy they are and how focused they are. IM doesn't have that luxury.
"Can I ask you a question?", in my personal experience, is usually a trap. If it was an easy question, the other person would have just asked it. Therefore, it's probably going to be a complex question that will take time and focus.
If more context is needed then it will have to be asked for - but this is no different than the first situation ("Can I ask you a question?"). Simply asking the question will optimize the response and conversation time in most scenarios, and will not slow it down in any.
The skype approach seems far more preferable. My guess is that as SMS/IM/VOIP becomes more ubiquitous the standard etiquette will be to ask before calling.
That makes sense for services where voice is a peripheral system (MSN, iChat, ...) but I fail to see what sense it makes for Skype, which is first and foremost a VOIP system, with instant messaging tacked on.
If you don't want VOIP as a primary communication device, here's an idea: don't use a VOIP service as you primary communication network. Use some other IM, and when somebody requests a voice communication and you allow for it, you start the call (from a skype account set as invisible)
While I can of course change my status to invisible, this is a global setting and affects all my contacts. I now live in a permanent state of lurking on Skype, because so many business contacts have initiated contact with the "can I see you online" and would have taken offense if I simply said no.
In short, I would love to see better presence notification options in Skype including the ability to revoke permissions and to partition people into groups and assign a corresponding status to each group.
For me, it's because I quite frequently have 4-5 hour conversations, and trying out both writing it all in paragraphs and pressing enter repeatedly resulted in more engaged conversations, as the other participant isn't staring at a screen waiting while I write it. It's better I think if all you are doing is talking to them, worse if you are both multitasking.
I have no problem writing in paragraphs if someone wanted me to though.
You mean like, uh, when someone phones you normally? my counter view is that I hate it when people send me a chat saying "hey are you free for a phone call". Am I signed into Skype? Yes. That means I am probably able to take your call. Sheesh :)
I see what he is trying to get across - but ''the vast majority of the time'' you're going to be free. Complaining that people don't automatically IM you before starting a call is silly...
I guess the difference is really whether you consider Skype an IM that's also a phone, or a phone that has IM. You're in the last camp, Arrington (and myself, for that matter) is in the first.
Part of the problem is that it's not always simple to silence a Skype call (like you could a phone) if you're busy. But then you also have the option, unlike a phone, of marking yourself as busy.
That last bit is, for me, the better innovation :)
(BTW constantly asking permission is a common grip of mine; "can I ask a question?" is one of the most annoying things in the world :))