When a Therapist Puts Buddhism into Practice
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Well, he would have, if that would work, but it doesn't. Concepts fly easily between our minds but concepts don't seem to really change how our minds work. What does change how our minds work is direct experience. We lead ourselves to the life-changing realizations by meditation.
Slowly, steadily, you train yourself to be calm, to be indistractable, to make your mind very still, much stiller than it ever is even in sleep. Focusing on the nature of experience itself, your mind directly experiences new information about its own workings. And when it does, it has no choice but to change itself, because it does not want to suffer. It causes itself to suffer only because it does not see how its actions lead to suffering. When it does see, it stops. It's freedom and peace by insight.
It starts making perfect sense to help others, to plant trees the shade of which you will never enjoy yourself, etc. You see that it doesn't make sense to fear death. It doesn't make sense to be angry at anyone. It's good stuff.
- You typically enumerate ways where you've strayed from your ethical goals. "I harmed so-and-so. I regret having done that."
- You put yourself into the mindset of change. "I want to be a better person. Help me recognize when I'm about to do something I know I shouldn't so that I can steer away from it."
- You open yourself to insight. "OK, I've said what I wanted to say. Now I'm going to sit back and listen for an answer."
Although meditation is secular and prayer is explicitly religious, in my experience they seem to follow identical processes. The main difference is whether you intend to send your thoughts outward or to deal with them yourself, but either way you're introspecting your own behavior and desires to seek insights on how to deal with them.
In contrast when I pray I'm often judging the past and planning the future. The first 2 points you mentioned are specifically reinforcing these habits. Meditation gives me a time to practice not constantly dwelling on the past or the future, which if we're not careful we spend most of our lives doing; meditation is merely a time to practice breaking this thought habit.
Not to say one is better than the other though. I just wanted to express my opinion that meditation is much different than prayer according to my own understanding. Granted there are a variety of definitions and understandings of both words.
But the way I learned, you meditate in order to enter samadhi. Samadhi is a Sanskrit word that means right concentration/proper concentration, and it is what allows you to gain insight. It represents a class of meditative states that you enter and can last for short time or long time, typically when you leave samadhi you feel very good, very peaceful and blissful - you reduced your thinking process thus your afflictions too. The higher your samadhi, the better your concentration and wisdom. Without samadhi, meditation is just analytical thought process.
So, if any practice (prayer included) is to be meditative it has to enable you to enter samadhi IMHO. I believe that's why it has a different feel for you.
Of course, mindfulness meditation nowadays means many different things, but if you go to the Buddhist sources you will find information about this.
As a buddhist-ish person for a decade now, I follow the path that meditation allows us to see things (and ourselves) as they really are, not as we've constructed or interpreted them.
There may be other ways of achieving this, but meditation creates a space between the thoughts we have constantly. We can see our thoughts from the "don't believe your thoughts" perspective.
Or, our thoughts -- our consciousness -- is like logs in a stream, and we're not in the stream, but on the banks of the stream, watching the logs go by.
We are not our thoughts, we must observe our thoughts, and that requires practice, and meditation is a practice that allows us to develop this.
There are three types of knowledge in Buddhist tradition - information you acquired from others, information you intellectually grasped and finally information from direct experience, insight. Each requires some amount of the previous kind to form.
You're right that we are not in direct control of our minds and we don't understand it directly as much as we think we do, but we can understand some important general causal principles which allow to learn how to influence the mind through the right causes.
So it's not about not thinking at all, it's about right kind of thinking. We need thoughts, right constructs, to point the mind in the right direction. As in the raft simile - only on the other shore we can let these skillful constructs go.
https://www.nytimes.com/2018/01/18/books/mark-epstein-advice...
Can a mod that can fix this please?
What's ironic about all this is that what I want is cable-like bundling of content. But while with news content I can be content with channel surfing, with television content I want to consume individual shows.
Curious as to why this is.
Of course, there are methods other than paywalls that could be used, but paywalls are what we have. It would be nice if several news organizations were to provide a single subscription with broad access. The current paywall strategy nickel and dimes voracious readers.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dialectical_behavior_therapy
And the concept of mindfulness is practically mainstream in therapy (as it is becoming in culture overall).
Good trends, IMHO.
"Help Times journalists uncover the next big story. Get The Times from $9.99 a month."
As much as NYT might have interesting content, lately there is a high amount of these on HN.