I went through university not knowing how to study, and as a result, I now have a "worthless" degree. One thing is, that the university and the degrees I took was a joke. 3-6 hours of "class" (100+ people crammed into an auditorium), no graded homework or feedback during semesters, and examns was just handing in 12-15 pages of analysis, and then getting a grade on my report sheet. No contact with educators, no counselling, guidance or otherwise interaction with lecturers, educators or other staff at the university. I could sit a home 30 hours a week and still get my "degree". Basically no feedback from the university on how I did, where I was heading etc.

For me, this means I made a lot of stupid choices. For one, I never understood the degree I took, but relentlessly kept on "fighting", as I thought that it _had_ to make sense to me someday. It never did. Swapped studies during my masters, but got into a "soft" IT-programme that didn't resonate with me either. As a result, I never learned to study, because I would get stressed out that the material never really made sense to me. I couldn't connect it to anything in the real world (and perhaps more important to me - no job postings ever seemed to ask for the skills I was acquiring).

Today, two years after i finished with an A+ (I wonder how...), and average grades in general, I have a galloping depression, and just wish that I could do it all over. No doubt I was perhaps immature or used to be a "natural talent" through high school, and therefore thought University was just passing examns. That hurts me a lot, and I have a hard time letting that thought go. I don't think anyone will ever be able to convince me, that the university or classes I went to was working as intended however. In my mind, education cannot solely be based on people reading and writing for themselves.

I wish someone would have shown me a guide like that when I started, and helped me manage my ambitions and performance a bit more throughout university. I'm now a worthless member of society, even though I have a degree. I don't think anyone is happy with the outcome, but I'm pretty sure I'm the only one to blame. At least thats what I keep telling myself.