Premarital counseling would have caught that.
> “It would have been a deal-breaker.”
IT SHOULD HAVE BEEN!!! Now you made a new person that you don't want! Shame on you and your husband!
Kids, money goals, debt, work goals, travel goals, where to live; these are all HUGE things that need to be discussed, while in the presence of a trained counselor, before saying "I do."
Before we got married, there were a number of things that we discussed and had to make sure we were on the same page. Of those, the most important were children and religion.
I personally made it a point to get an understanding before we were even serious.
Now that we're married, the question isn't "Will we have children?", it's "When..." and that's much easier to figure out if both people are playing the same endgame.
Oh, and thanks for pointing out religion, I forgot that on my (knowingly incomplete) list.
Edit: I say most, but I probably should have said some.
This is anecdotal, but:
I attended family counselling with multiple counsellors for many years, I found those sessions helped only for as long as they were scheduled. Rather than gaining tools to assist in resolving future problems, we were provided with solutions to our immediate problems.
Personal counselling is a different story, and I think the root cause for these marital issues is that people don't have an understanding of themselves, or what they need in order to be happy. Personal counselling can teach you how to express yourself and your needs, which would obviously go a long way in helping you structure your relationships.
In group counselling everyone still has opportunity to believe they're not the reason for the dysfunction.
The only things I really regret are things I asked for and found out I didn't actually want.