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Comment by sigi45 | Hacker News Reader

Always interesting to see what other people think is 'cool'.

I love my wife too much to swing. Couldn't and don't want to imagine someone else having sex with my wife.

We mostly do FFM threesomes and soft swap (oral only) in larger group situations. She’s just not that interested in other guys, moreso the ladies, which works for me.

I like to see her happy. She likes to see me happy. The dynamic obviously isn’t for everyone but it works for us.

Would it work the other way around also? Would it be okay for you to do FMM?

Independend of my wifes choice of doing ffm, i will not do this until i'm compftable with fmm and i'm not. I don't even care for ffm or fmm very much anyway but fmm is the deal breaker for ffm.

That's because you (and me too) equate sex with intimacy (in the emotional sense). This is not true for all people and I don't judge.

You're right, but most people can't do the distinction properly on emotional level, and unless they actually go through it, have no clue how they react. Once you're sure it works OK 100% of the cases, on both ends, then its probably healthy for relationship.

Anecdote - one of my ex was talked into a threesome with another girl by her ex, thinking how refreshing it would be (and she is not a typical nice girl with a good heart to start with). She couldn't handle it at all, and it contributed to their breakup quite effectively.

Nothing for me, I prefer quality rather than quantity (maybe not the best comparison, but I lack better in this case).

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