For home, I've got an APU2c4 (http://pcengines.ch/apu2b4.htm), running LEDE. It pushes something near a gigabit pretty easily (and has a the bufferbloat patches!), and I've got the time needed to administer it when necessary.
For my folks, I grabbed an Ubiquiti Unifi Security Gateway (https://www.ubnt.com/unifi-routing/usg/) and a separate Ubiquiti AP AC Lite. I fired up a controller in the cloud, and now I can manage it remotely if there's ever a problem. It's pretty awesome :).
The Unifi Security Gateway looked interesting until I googled a bit, no IPv6 support in 2018 at £100? That's insane. I mean, apparently you can do it manually, but bleh.
Besides the router issue, I've become very apprehensive at installing the latest UniFi AP firmware releases because I've experienced one revision absolutely tank WiFi performance (which took me a while to figure out the culprit thanks to the controller auto upgrading firmware) and another make APs periodically crash/bounce like every 20 mins.
So yeah in my experience after using Ubiquiti products for a few years, they are way overhyped. I guess people are willing to overlook a lot if you have a nice sleek industrial design.
I also see you're in NZ. Did you get it from Nicegear?
And yeah, I grabbed it from nicegear; they're good people :). They also sell AU/NZ power adapters that fit.
I used to run OpenWrt on my router ... years ago, and I remember that router had 16 MiB RAM, and a 125 MHz MIPS CPU. If you set up such a machine, say, as an OpenVPN server, this would seriously limit the amount of data I could push through the VPN connection. (Not really, because my Internet connection is not very fast, but that is beside the point.)
Even a Raspberry Pi is far more powerful than the typical OpenWrt router (at least the ones I have handled).
At work, we set up a wifi network using OpenWrt routers, using separate wifi networks as well as different VLANs for employees and guests. To get a vendor-supported solution that can do this, you have to have spend a lot of money.[1]
So in my experience, OpenWrt is a lot better than what most commodity routers/wifi-access points offer. With the exception, maybe, of the Fritz!Box family.
[1] Okay, it depends on your definition of "a lot". In our case, the requirement was to make it as cheap as possible, because strictly speaking we had no budget at all for the wifi.
That was the case back then, but newer routers have to be a lot beefier just to handle the throughput of faster net connections.
I've got a WRT1900ACS running OpenWRT/LEDE at home. 1.6GHz dual core and 512MB of RAM, and it's not really even top of the line by today's standards.
But my point was that you can run OpenWrt on very small devices[1], but not pfSense. It is true, of course, that today's bandwidth requires more powerful devices.
[1] A friend of mine works in embedded systems, and to him 16 MiB of RAM would be ginormous.
And strangely enough, my Wemos are also having trouble today, and Belkin (wemo) is blaming the issue[2] on security patches regarding the Intel meltdown bug. Everything is interconnected these days...
[2] http://community.wemo.com/t5/News-and-Announcements/Intermit...
If you want more features than you could possibly want or use, LEDE/OpenWrt.
With some routers (Broadcom and Qualcomm mainly), stock firmware tends to perform better since no cooperation with the kernel or LEDE/OpenWrt.
For security reasons, you'll want to use LEDE/OpenWrt. KRACK fixes got pushed pretty fast (same day) for example.
One of the benefits of the stock firmware is taking advantage of hardware accelerated NAT and Wifi encryption (WPA) but when I installed LEDE a few months ago on the old Netgear WNR3500L it did give me the option to install a Wifi server that does use hardware acceleration so I can still get that nice high performance.
Note that all of those routers listed above are generally well supported by custom firmware because that's how I made my buying decision. My current main router (Asus AC66U) I left it with stock firmware as it has all the features I want and it's still getting updates often enough.