Saying "Coinbase sucks but there's nothing to do about it" just reinforces their dominance. Break out of your Stockholm Syndrome and either use Gemini or sue Coinbase.
But how do we actually get access to the money we put in? I think "sue coinbase" is basically a non-starter given their TOS.
They simply do not reply to any customer support tickets.
I would bet that your support ticket will be resolved within 24 hours of filing suit, regardless of what the TOS says. The value of your account is probably far smaller than the legal cost of even filing a motion to dismiss.