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After 15 years of class action appeals, you’ll get a voucher for $15 off of a retail-packaged processor.

Exactly the right amount of cynicism for the situation. Thank you!

Meanwhile the lawyers and original plaintiffs will be able to buy their own sex islands...

... with sex dolls... with Intel Inside stickers on them?!

;)

Doubtful - Intel's press release is carefully worded to suggest that the chip is working as designed, and that others are to blame if exploited. I'm sure they see the lawsuits on the horizon

It's those nasty hackers and awful security researchers who are to blame...

The wording "working as designed" makes about as much sense here as a lock maker claiming a lock was designed to be easily pickable.

Intel's outside lawyers are going to have a great 2018. And '19 and '20. And AMDs. The plaintiff's lawyers too.

Don't forget expert witnesses. Damn, for anyone with technical expertise in the area now's the time to polish up the resume and start shopping it to the large firms on both sides.

not that this comparison works well, but Master Lock actually does rate their locks, but essentially based on crappyness (because even their best locks are trivially picked, and known easy targets)

did you pay with a credit card?