Yes.
I'm using dating apps for over 10 years now. Dated 3 women via them.
In "real life" I found 12 in that time.
But I still do it, every few years I get some nice surprises :)
I'm using dating apps for over 10 years now. Dated 3 women via them.
In "real life" I found 12 in that time.
But I still do it, every few years I get some nice surprises :)
I went to a ton of meetups and group events in real life over the course of three years (and to a lesser extent for years before that), met a lot of women through that, but very few of them were either not in a relationship or emotionally available at the time (either too focused on their career, in an 'it's complicated' situation, going through crap with family, not very financially stable, waiting for their unicorn and would accept nothing less, etc). Many of these women I never saw with anyone or spoke about being with anyone over the course of many years in successive meetups.
To be fair, I was in a similar situation through a good chunk of my 20s when I was either working my butt off for startups or completely broke, so I understand.
But online dating was much less frustrating for me.
Online dating does separate the wheat from the chaff in that sense, but I still find it more frustrating because there's far more competition I have to deal with and 99% of the time there's no return. When I'm in public with someone I find attractive, there's a high likelihood I can at least strike a conversation with them. Even if nothing comes of it, I gain experience. With online dating, I just get experience updating my profile and sending messages with almost no payoff.
It definitely works for some people. My best friend met his fiance on OKCupid years ago, and I've gotten multiple dates through it in the past, so I know that it can work. Whether the online dating sphere still functions properly is a different question, considering my online dating success decreased while my situation in life drastically improved, which makes no sense to me.
I'll add that I'm not particularly bothered by any of this. As you were in your 20s, I am at a stage where the benefits of dating don't outweigh the benefits of focusing on my craft until I can reach a certain threshold.
Don't go to events and activities looking for love. Go to events and activities looking for interesting people to get to know and be friends with - and let them be a filter of "Hey, I know someone you should meet" when they know you're single. Similarly, if you have friends who've never met but who are single and have similar interests, don't be afraid to introduce them to each other.