-I'm buying a laptop.

-Pah, a laptop? You want a desktop.

-Buying??? A real man builds a desktop.

-Builds it? Anyone worth anything builds from barebones.

-Barebones is for n00bs. I hand solder the whole thing together.

-Hand solder? You soft shite, I use a blacksmith's forge and a hot piece of iron.

-A hot piece of iron? I should be so lucky - I'm going back to basics and not using fire. I'm just bashing rocks together to get them the right shape.

(still, awesome achievement)