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> And my immediate thought is, "For god's sake, don't SAY that shit around me, I'm someone who has a big say in your career prospects."

Did you tell her that? Why or why not? Seems like a really good opportunity for a teachable moment.

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I have been very fortunate to have bosses pull me aside and give me advice like this while I was young. It has helped me tremendously throughout my working life. I try to keep that in mind as I work with younger people. It can be hard to bring these sorts of things up diplomatically, but it is really important to do it if we expect folks to change their behavior.

That could backfire. It's low probability but it could carry big consequences.

The current climate of accusations is not good for managers.

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