So being a foolish and persistent 18yo, I called directory assistance and sure enough Cogent NOC was listed. So I called them pretending to be a Comcast support employee. No questions asked. I told them the router IP that was down and they said they'd look into it. 20 min later, my connection to the outside was up. Probably fixed the Internet for several million people in NYC. The foolishness of youth has its perks.