I've had to shut-down two start-up's--the lead developer lost his mind on the first (1996) and the money ran dry on the other (2003). In each case, I went and got a job. It sucked working for some numb-nuts with a limp handshake, but needed the money. And I had two puppies and a girlfriend trying to get out of college on the first blow-up, which was no fun. Luck of the draw. I'm launching my third literally this week.
Unlike the previous occasions, I'm better educated. And I'm a lot less emotional. This is business. I have a standard that stipulates the following--if v 1.0 is over 1/3 late, you're probably throwing good money after bad, so time to ask where the execution bottle necks are. At 2/3 late, time to "come to Jesus" on your start-up and start asking some very tough questions, like how did this get so borked and how can it be rescued. And at 100% over-run, don't think about it, just bail because you've screwed something up so bad that no amount of talk or analysis is going to rescue you. Get a job, build back up your finances and your marriage, and look for another opportunity.
And reflect on why you are in a start-up. Are you trying to change the world or have a cool work-place?
Start-up's are not for everyone, and certainly should be pursued carefully by those married and with financial obligations.
If you're putting your family through hell, you have to ask yourself how long is reasonable to do that. Ruining the finances of your family, or worst case getting turfed out of your home, is unacceptable. And when you have kids, it's no longer about your dreams and desires--it's about providing. You had your chance, it's gone, so suck it up and get ready to do what our own Fathers did--work for the Man and hope for the next generation.
I know that sounds harsh. But I've been on the other other side and watching your home get yanked away is not something your children should ever, ever experience.