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When I was a grad student, shorts and sandals is absolutely what I would wear to a poster session. I never had anyone comment on what I was wearing. If I did somehow manage to cross a line, I would expect to hear about it from my friends or my advisor, not from a stranger.

Most of your complaints seem to be that men and women have different standards for work-appropriate clothing. If bare arms are too provocative for you, that is a personal problem that you need to work on.

It's not at all a problem for me. However, maybe it's a problem for them. Prudent men won't comment or act out. But many men (and women) will judge. Like it or not, it's what's so.

There isn't any outfit a woman won't be judged negatively for wearing. You could do a lot more good by speaking up when people are judging.

Sure. But conservatively stylish presentation is arguably the best strategy for career advancement. At least, in academica.

Are you saying that it's appropriate to give arguably good unsolicited advice to strangers about their appearance?

No. I thought that I made that clear. Such advice is appropriate from family, close friends, mentors and managers. Everyone else should keep it to themselves.

But the problem is that people gossip. And they judge. Covertly. As in "I don't trust this woman. Why does she dress like that? She'd be disruptive. I'd better not hire her."

How do you respond when people covertly tell you that?

> For example, you may see women in tight sleavless tshirts aka wifebeaters, plus short skirts. How many men will be wearing tight wifebeaters with short pants and sandals? Not many, I bet.

So . . . burqas for everyone, then?

Seriously, if you can't recognize that fashion norms for women and men are different, and can't tell the connotative difference between a sleeveless shirt on a woman and a tank top on a man, I cannot help you.

Yes, "fashion norms for women and men are different" in modern American culture. Of course. That's rather my point. But what's up with that?

Please say more about "the connotative difference between a sleeveless shirt on a woman and a tank top on a man". I don't see much substantive difference. They're both an assertion of physical power.

I actually do think that "burqas for everyone" might be a good fashion trend. For privacy, given that there are cameras everywhere. But in professional American culture, it's actually men who are more constrained to dress modestly.

I've taken the time to compile the comprehensive list of people who may (but perhaps shouldn't) give you unsolicited constructive criticism on how you dress:

1. Close friends/family.

2. Professional designers/fashion experts.

As to his dumb-ass move, I wonder what would be your reaction if he'd done that to you, because that's what she felt. I think it would be a bit different from, "that's a dumb-ass move".

I totally agree. Also whoever she reported to. Because her presentation reflects on them.

If someone had done that to me, I would have gracefully fended them off, verbally and physically.

> But his comment about professional dress could have been made far more constructively. When I encounter provocatively-dressed women...

It's not at all clear from her blog post that she was dressed provocatively, or that he was sincerely commenting on the appropriateness of her appearance. This could just as easily have been a scenario where a man thinks a woman looks good and lets her know that he thinks so, while simultaneously criticizing her for his advantage, ie, negging.

But with the information we have, we just don't know. It's like an ambiguous personal email that one can project attitudes onto; if you're feeling defensive or threatened, then it's easy to read a perfectly neutral message as being hostile or even sarcastic.

Are you really blaming her? Attractive women who wear dresses tend to attract predators. We should condemn the predators, not the women.

No, I'm not blaming her. But I am wondering about her motivation, and level of self-awareness.