Does Life End at 35? (2013)
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I am in my mid-60s, manage a machine learning team at a fine company, busy writing a new book, and getting close to being an investor in a new company.
My Dad is 96 and does 3D animation, makes movies and documentaries, and is still a member of the national academy of science.
Life ends either when one gives up learning and doing new things, or when our bodies finally wear out :-)
It's not like the fifty states north of Lake Okeechobee.
Where I grew up, most people have always been over 65.
And from someplace else to begin with.
You learn a lot more from diverse people who have gone through diverse decades in diverse places than you do from a social monoculture of similar age group to yourself.
Most retirees didn't bring their "children" with them, because their next generation was still up north with a career and family working toward retirement themselves.
So many younger northern people would visit (when under 65), but far fewer would eventually come to stay.
It's not so easy to sustainably remain in a relatively pure-consumer environment where you are supposed to have enough money to last the rest of your life before you make a move there.
However, there was still a significant contingent of formerly low-wage northern workers who did manage to build enough resources over their wage-earning life to be able to sensibly choose our locale when they reached 65.
At the other end of the spectrum, many of the other kids our own age were those whose parents had retired early, sometimes quite well off, or even born rich without much need for a career of any length. "Retired at 40" was much less common than 65, but still more significant than in most other places.
An interesting observation; so many people from both ends of the spectrum surprisingly ended up making most of their money after 65 than they did beforehand.
Even among those without more money than ever, there was still some degree of consensus that "life begins at 65".
And the article also conveys the same idea. The title is a misnomer (if some kind).
I think you just proved OP's point. Seems like you have nothing going for you but work.
> My Dad is 96 and does 3D animation, makes movies and documentaries
This is a problem I have with modern american society. I wonder whether it would be better to give those resources to younger and more capable people who can actually make good movies and documentaries.
> and is still a member of the national academy of science.
People are members of NAS for life.
> Life ends either when one gives up learning and doing new things, or when our bodies finally wear out :-)
That's not what the guy was talking about...
But you've highlighted a lot of problems we have in our society. Too much resources and wealth have been "stolen" by the older generations like you and your father. And the younger generation are suffering from lack of opportunity and resources. I don't think this is very healthy for society over the long term. But I guess only time will tell.
When I was in high school I was a middle distance runner. I trained a bit harder than I should have. I was lucky to never have a significant injury that made me unable to run for more than a couple days, but there were definitely times when I felt burnt out, and I didn't compete after high school. Burnout, stress fractures and other roadblocks were very common among kids who ran more than eight miles a day, but many of us had this attitude that we had to take risks and push ourselves. I think we felt pressured because college wasn't far off, and we really only had one shot to go D1.
I'd troll a running forum called Dyestat a lot and there was this goon a grade above me who'd post questions every day about how he should structure his training (e.g. "is increasing 10% per week too much? How long should my long run be?"). The questions weren't bad questions, but everyone found them absurd because he'd run 10, maybe 15 miles in a week. How about spend time actually training instead of talking about training?
Because he took his boundaries so seriously, he increased his training load at a snail's pace -- I don't think he ran a 60 mile week before college. He improved consistently every year, never got injured, and never burned out. He went D2 (D1 > D3 > D2) and killed it. Now at 26 he runs 100+ mile weeks at 6:00 pace and tools on kids at the turkey trot every year. I check his twitter from time to time and it's clear he loves the sport as much as I did when I started.
I like to think that the difference was that he had a long-term goal that wasn't attached to some instantaneous outcome. He wanted to be able to push himself for the rest of his life, even if it meant waiting till past his prime to be any good.
I think in general if you make a change that's sustainable for the rest of your life, you win.
Ultimately he won.
http://www.thelawproject.com.au/blog/scott-adams-on-systems-...
Almost an analogy for life.
Kind of like Turtle vs Hare
It's actually incredibly freeing and makes me appreciate being gay even more the older I get (though still in my 20s)
So far, well, my 30s are better than my 20s, anyway.
I'm all for anyone sticking it to the man and not doing anything they don't want to do.
I'm hitting 30 next month. I'm going to continue on my journey of learning, working remotely, traveling, and hopefully meeting a woman who loves me.
You don't need someone to complete you, only to complement you.
I try to remind myself that I'm still young-ish and have plenty of time but some days it's too rough.
I've seen everyone around me at least go through one loving relationship. I've never had someone who cared for me. When I look back at my relationships, none of them actually cared for me. Hell, even my own mother was abusive and told me she wished I was never born.
I know I don't need someone to complete me but I'm only human.
Physically in better shape, married to a friend of 7 years, with a son & good family life, and financially on the way to FI/RE.
My 20s were a hellscape of drugs, loneliness, and debt. Pass!
Of course now the concern is being over the hill already :)
You'll need to try and push the envelope a bit, go busk and people will give you immediate feedback if something sucks. This will not be a gradual process, days of nothing clicking will be followed by a day when everything clicks into place, keep at it. Playing an instrument should feel like talking to a friend, any awkwardness is something you need to work on, that is the easiest way to get feedback on what needs to be added to you practice regime.
For me the same mental framework works for programming, or any other skill. As it turns out, trying to learn a musical instrument teaches you a lot about learning in general. For that alone it is a worthwhile endeavour :)
In general, performing adds a dimension to your playing, even if it's not the hardest music that you've played. If you don't have time for a band, I know it sounds kind of corny, but retirement homes love to have musicians. Some have money, others don't. The joy that it brings to people who are lonely and of limited mobility is incalculable.
Also, +1 to the other comments in this chain.
Hmmm love the idea of playing in retirement homes. Definitely did not think about that! By the way what instrument do you pay?
I have no lessons to give, but my only advice is that plateaus are normal, and the only way to win is to keep going. To borrow Feynman’s words, keep your pen on the paper.
It also helps to diversify. If you have been playing the guitar for a while and are plateauing, switch from electric to acoustic (or vice versa), or even bass. When you go back to guitar, you’ll have a deeper understanding.
IME this applies to any creative discipline.
> You can't post this because it has a blocked link
> The content you're trying to share includes a link that our security systems detected to be unsafe:
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Anyone know what might be happening here?
If you try to use sharing links etc from within the archived article, they may have problems as the kzhu.net page is now run by different people for a different purpose.
Maybe try sharing the link manually.
Many in their early 20s are willing to work crappy jobs, live cheaply, and accept the status of having not much to show while they try for their dream. Think of actors waiting tables, as a simple example. How many 35 year olds would do that?
I know it's not that simple: Older people often have obligations, such as children, which make such things more difficult. Also, many businesses are unaccustomed to and thus unwilling to hire older people to entry-level jobs. The (40-something?) intern played by Robert DeNiro was meant to be absurd, but when I saw the previews I thought: Why shouldn't 40 year olds start a new career the same way that 20 year olds do? I can't think of a good reason. And if not, how do they start a new career?
I can't say is haven't wondered these things myself at times, though I have hired people in their 40s and 50s for these types of positions before. We've got several retired folks working in part time positions and they are perfect. Professional, knowledgeable, prompt, hard working, and not looking to jump to full time.
Good points. What I meant to talk about was people who are looking to jump to full time; someone that age who wants to start a new career.
Isn't what you describe exactly what many people that age say is a problem: They can't get an opportunity to do anything but part-time, dead-end work.
And personally, social life was way too often confused and ill aimed (seeking validation, social pressure). It feels like a lot of it is a nature mechanism to promote interactions until you make your nest.
My teens were miserable, my 20s sucked, my 30s were so good I thought I went to haven living in a time loop, my 40s started a bit rocky but now I'm pretty good. My athletic shape peaked around the age of 38 but now I'm pretty close.
The funny thing is, in my 20s I was also in a rush to succeed as fast as possible, and in retrospect, it was very silly. I keep hearing folks in their late 20s saying, "my time is running out", and I can't help but smile.
The best thing about the advancing age is how things start making sense and come together.
"Hold onto 16 as long as you can..."
Jack and Diane by John Mellencamp
By 35, you've died twice. You may as well stop caring what dopes like Mellencamp say.
"For ~0.163% of the United States population, yes, life will end at 35. I am not sure about globally, maybe slightly higher, but globals are bad practice anyway."
[0] https://www.cdc.gov/nchs/data/dvs/mortfinal2007_worktable310...
[1] https://www.infoplease.com/us/births/live-births-and-birth-r...
Glorify God.
We like to view life as a sequence of accomplishments, because it helps us understand others' lives. But does it make sense to frame your own life that way?
Long-term success: the thriving of our species.
So we seek happiness. Not contentment, but happiness. We are sold ideals that represent happiness and feel unhappy when we don't hit them.
It's great when you find someone that is generally happy with health, stability and family. I suspect that's a minority in this space, where there are overnight millionaires, CS savants and business success everywhere you look. Some work their tails off for decades and never hit the mark. Some see fleeting success and then dead ends.
How does one transition from "I want to bust my ass, blow everyone away with my startup and walk away set for life" to "I have weekends off, a great family and a path to a comfortable retirement?" Are some people just wired like this or is it trained behavior?
It's probably a combination of the culture and expectations around the individual rather than the individual themselves. Children are pretty often told they can be whoever they want to be by society, and so their bar is set pretty high. But when was the last time a 30 year received the message that they could be anybody they wanted to? People expect different things of older people, and the whole situation, with all of the narratives we use to define ourselves and others, is probably pretty self reinforcing. The attitude also likely shifts as you have a family and they grow up - again I think it's about what people expect. No studies to cite here, but just throwing out some ideas.
I guess better questions are: why do you care if you're successful? How much success do you need?
Think about it: financial success? Power? Expression? It's easy to assume these sorts of things define success, but I think it's easy to come up with tricky exceptions.
I've always thought the worst think about human lifespan is that, in modern times by the time you get educated and mentally/emotionally adjusted and enough time to really get proficient at a craft you only have like a decade or less before slowdown starts. Then you have the other half of your life being "old".
In more primitive times (most of the history of the species) I believe a person was basically a small adult at puberty. There wasn't much more to learn, there wasn't a great deal to "experiment" with, crafts and trades were simple enough to be picked up in a few years. You had kids early and generally died at not much more than 40 and that was that.
Although I'm opposed to immortality (until we get some other things worked out) it would be cool if we could stay in physical/mental prime for the same proportion of lifespan as we did in earlier days. Because adulthood begins so much later.
Hitting 30 seems to be the benchmark point. The "What have you done with your life so far, its all down hill from here" moment.
Its not just the regular folk, we get essays from far more accomplished folk like sama as well. [1]
[1] http://blog.samaltman.com/the-days-are-long-but-the-decades-...
https://passivetalks.com/the-beginners-guide-to-bitcoin-taxa...
No.
Do you sometimes lie awake worrying that you aren't succeeding fast enough?
No.
Are you tortured by younger peers who have global businesses, penned acclaimed books and a string of iron-man medals?
No.
Do you count down the years until you can no longer make the 30 under 30 list?
No.
All few tens of thousands of them, in a 350 million country?