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>Writers rally around the laid off, are eager to commiserate. “Failed” coders are shunned in tech culture. They don’t even want to acknowledge your existence.

This is true. When you get laid of from your coding job, your former coworkers treat you like you have a terminal disease, like they might catch it by spending time with you.

Not really sure why this is.

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I think in some situations it’s because the work friendships are not true and are based on proximity and convenience. When the work ends there is no longer any proximity so the friendship withers.

I think this may be exacerbated by all the messaging about how work is a “family.” It’s typically not, but can be confusing when a co-worker is no longer part of the family.

Of course the best, most productive companies I worked with had small teams that had relationships outside of work.

But in most cases I’m just being polite to 90% of co-workers because we work together.

It always intrigues me how some get a new job "through the networking". In many markets, especially where low cost and outsourcing centers are prevalent there is no network. Colleagues are enemies during the recruitment, in case of success it's safer to keep a distance, and in case of leaving contacts are cut off.

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