With my daughter, I avoided telling her something was wrong, or bad. If she was doing something that negatively impacted the people around her, I'd hold her attention. (This practice started around nine months, so quite literally held her attention. Both hands, and maintained eye contact.)

In a calm voice I would ask her questions about what she is doing, and those around her. She's usually come to an understanding of her own, pre-veral she'd go give hugs and change her behaviour. Post-verbal she would apologize, and change her behaviour.

I was always very proud of her ability to learn and look at out side perspectives. Even if she had to be prompted into viewing them.

I recently thought about this, (earlier today actually). How it differs from sending to their room or corner to "think about what they did."

They don't know at that age what they did. Heck up into young teen years. What do YOU do when sent to your room? If you're like me, you stomped, you sulked, you threw things, you thought about how much everyone hates you. That you're just a burden, that no one would even notice if you were gone... Then your think, no they'll notice, that they have less food to make, less expenses etc, all the ways your mere existence is a burden. Maybe, again, if you're like me, you drift into thought about your grandparents, they love you, they'll miss you. You're never a burden to them. You contemplate running away, maybe to their house. But at no point, do you think about apologizing, what did you do? They're just mean control freaks!

So if you didn't come to think about your actions, you an intelligent, thought oriented, hacker type, what hope does your adolescent child have?

Share your wisdom and insight. They'll learn better if you let them think and help them to it, than if you tell them to and leave it at that. They might even help you think about new perspectives, who knows.