If you like to contribute to those services, you are more than welcome to, but they should not be mandatory contributions. My own view is the smaller the government, the better. Federal and State governments have their place, but it should be up to citizens to decide what matters to them.
It's been analyzed by many groups, multiple times. New York contributes more than it recieves.
The Rockefeller Institute of Government report linked above estimated a deficit of 47 billion dollars in FY 2017 alone.
It should come as no surprise considering these states are home to the some of the most successful economic regions in the country.
Your second point doesn't jive with support of this tax plan. It's forcing a tax hike on productive populated blue states to pay more to the federal government which are less represented in how it's spent compared to rural states. I'd love more state and local control, the last thing I want my taxes going to is more GOP funded military pork.