Why some men won't dance
bbc.co.uk
bbc.co.uk
Interesting how this is one of the very few things were social pressure is alive and well(as exemplified by the article, which fails to ask why should people dance in the first place).
To a greater extent, if someone refused to talk but had the ability to you would probably think something weird of them. But probably wouldn't question that from a social pressure perspective.
No. I would think that they have nothing to say they think was worth saying -- precisely as it should be, since we already have too many loud idiots.
You can walk up to a girl, who in any other situation would smack you for it, ask her to dance and if she says yes (and she is likely to, unless you stink) touch her and spend several minutes close to her.
I mean maybe you are super good looking, but if you are not and have a crush, dancing is a huge social hack. Plus as with everything that is challenging it is kinda fun (and not a bad way to get your steps in, if you are on the step-counter team).
Wow that sounds pathetic. Sorry but why would you want to do that? These minutes may be better spent socialising with someone without a princess complex. There are enough fish in the pond, no need to make a fool of yourself!
Same reason people have been doing it for centuries—it's fun! I believe you may have read a bit too much into their comment :-)
PS: dancing with a beautiful girl can be the most wonderful thing in the world, but dancig lonely just to get sweaty might not be as appealing.
so they should open up a "Grandpa's dance palace" where men pick women and dance in pairs. or a campfire dance where men and women run around naked in circles stamping their feet.
There are many other types of dancing besides with a partner and "dancing lonely just to get sweaty." Line dancing doesn't have a partner - everyone dances the same pattern. There are also group dances like Scottish country dance or medieval dancing where the entire group ends up making complicated figures.
Flamenco is a dance which needs no partner, where the goal is not just to get sweaty.
Later I discovered punk, where dancing mostly involved jumping around a lot, which I could do. Then came Smells Like Teen Spirit, which alternated jumping around with catching your breath (really the perfect dance song at the time). At peak fitness, the Dropkick Murphy's Pipebomb on Landsdowne was the absolutely perfect dance song for me, but I can't dance to that anymore. Iggo Pop's Lust For Life taught me a more rock&roll-like swingy dance, and after that, I could really dance to almost anything (except a house beat).
I don't know any formal swing or rock & roll dance, but I do enjoy dancing to that music. My knowledge of formal dance steps is mostly from balfolk, but that's a very different kind of experience.
It was a source of frustration when I was younger too, as most of my friends would go on nights out and dance and I would be the one hanging out with the smokers and talking shite. If someone asked me to dance, I would ask if they would like to sit to talk for a bit.
Not that I haven' danced before, I have lots of times, trying to fit in. I'd do it for a song, maybe a little more, then I got bored and wanted to talk to somebody.
As I grew older I realised that 'nights out' that involved night clubs or anything were just not my thing. I much preferred to sit around a table at a pub with a load of friends and just chat shit. By that point I had stopped trying to 'fit in' and ended up less stressed about ohaving some social defect.
I must be missing the part of the brain that actually enjoys dancing, because even when I'm listening to music I love I always prefer to actually sit and listen to it intently rather than try to move to its rhythm.
I don't believe it was. For one, it would mean a huge percentage of the population has a schizotypical personality disorder, or avoidant personality.
For another, there is a strong cultural effect on dance popularity. There are areas where dancing is banned due to religious prohibitions. (The movie "Footloose" is based on that premise.)
While it's possible that, say, 0.01% of the people may not dance for reasons the OP gave, it's very unlikely that the OP's argument has any significance.
Zampano from the movie "La Strada" just screams "Schizotypal", but if you put the two in a search engine - it hasn't occurred to anyone.
The article was: "Why some men won't dance". (Why some male animals have tails) My post was: "Men who are schizotypal/avoidant don't dance. Read about it to figure out if you are.". (Male cats have tails. Consider you might be a cat.) Your response was: "He's saying all men who don't dance are schizotypal/avoidant!" ("He's saying all male animals are cats!")
I'm saying that I don't think your statement is diagnostic in any useful sense.
While that might be the reason why some (a perhaps small number) males don't dance, there are cultures where men do dance, and cultures where they do not, and these percentages are quite large.
As such there must a strong cultural effect on why male do/don't dance, with schizotypal/avoidant behavior a far smaller reason.
On the other hand, you could have worded your comment a bit better so it didn't seem like you were accusing every reader of having schizotypal personality disorder.
I'm using the opportunity to promote awareness. I've been diagnosed with a very similar disorder. For 30 years I used to think it's perfectly normal to lash out when someone speculates about your romantic relationships, suggests going to a party or dancing. I ended up alone, and not in the "single" sense, but people - often my best friends - gradually stopped contacting me, one by one, for no apparent reason and without saying anything. I thought I just was "shy" or "introverted". But my behaviour qualifies as extreme introversion, and I was just responding with verbal aggression (offense is best defense) because I felt threatened and naked when someone inquired about my emotions.
Schozotypal personality disorder can wreck your life, I know because I am in this situation and it takes a lot of effort and self-discipline to recover. One of most common side effects is severe depression. Schizotypal people fear emotional contact, but at the same time they crave it and close relationships and friendships. Gollum, Groke from Moomins, Zampano from "La Strada".
It doesn't help people see I don't visibly express emotions and conclude I don't feel them. At best they say I'm stoic, at worst - a psychopath.
A personality like that has far-reaching consequences. In Europe, or at least in Poland, it is customary to eat everything clean to show you like it very much and to please your host. In Asia it's the opposite. You're sopposed to leave a token piece of food to show the host has given enough to feed everyone. In both cases, you want to please your host - but you use radically different approach. You can draw opposite conclusions from the same idea. How does it relate to being schizotypal ? If you're very uncomfortable discussing your emotions, family relationships, etc... you don't ask other people about that either, because you assume other people are like you. People judge others by themselves. The result is that people thing you're an egoist because you don't ask others about their emotional well-being. And because you often keep a poker face, your ability to read emotions of others is a bit impaired too.
The fact that your friends abandoned you because you didn't want to dance is something else entirely. They weren't really your friends. If they were, this wouldn't have happened.
I have friends that both love night clubs and friends that don't. Frequently the groups overlap and spend time together doing things they both enjoy. I can't imagine any of them cutting off contact with the others for such shallow reasons.
Point being, just because it was this way for you, doesn't mean it applies to everyone else. There are a multitude of reasons someone may not want to dance, and not all are due to disorders. That's a dangerous way to think.
Just as baseless.