Ask HN: Reliable Strategy for Behavior Change? | Hacker News Reader

Ask HN: Reliable Strategy for Behavior Change?

15 pointssp5277 comments

I’ve recently become very interested in lasting behavioral modification after enduring too many failed efforts and regressions over time. Looking for any good resources on the subject as well as personal anecdata.

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Check out the book "The Power of Habit" - it goes into findings and science behind lasting change. It is an interesting read, and not just dry science.

Edit: Summary link. http://www.deconstructingexcellence.com/the-power-of-habit-s...

Summary: It's about cue, routine, reward. You can't change the cue and reward, but you can modify the routine.

Also the reward is often not what you think. Like some people may be alcoholics, the cue might be loneliness and the reward might be sex. It could be a habit started from bars. But later on trigger when someone has had a busy week and not enough company. Or it could continue until someone is deeply inebriated, as long as they don't meet someone. The fix would be changing the routine, like replacing alcohol with Coke, or replacing sex with pornography. Some solutions are not perfect, but behavior change boils down to this.

You can also set up good habits with cue habit reward. Just keep it consistent.

Another good resource is Psycho-cybernetics by Dr. Maxwell Maltz

https://www.amazon.com/Psycho-Cybernetics-Updated-Expanded-M...

Also, I'd like to know if it's possible to change your behavior while still feeling like "yourself". And not feeling fake. I do not like the statement of "faking it till you make it". It makes it sound like you're betraying yourself, and therefore betraying other people because you are not yourself anymore.

Well, I know a lot about the subject. But it would help to know what sorts of behaviors you are looking to change.

Everything from simple stuff like drink more water, observe and correct posture, etc all the way up to reading more often, reducing time wasted, correcting automatic negative thoughts, etc.

For small stuff, pick one thing and try to do it every day for three weeks. Once it is a habit, it should have momentum of its own. Rinse and repeat. (Keep a log book or you will forget and feel like nothing has changed.)

Negative thoughts can be more complicated. I will recommend you start by drinking a glass of water, having a bite to eat and/or taking a short nap. Negative thoughts can have multiple causes, but they tend to be more persistent when you are hungry, tired and thirsty.

For "bad habits," it generally works better to find a better way to meet your needs than to try to deny yourself something. For example, trying to eat healthier is generally a better approach to weight loss than restricting how much you eat.

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