I could go down the list and agree and disagree with some of your comments, but how does that address the article? Despite being a trite statement, and despite it's flaws, bitcoin _is_ open source money.
Perhaps part of my frustration is that this is the latest in a long series of articles that beats around the bushes and fails to address any kind of meaty argument. They attack the weakest arguments, and lie or misdirect the stronger ones. Yes, we all know Warren Buffett and Jamie Dimon aaren't so great with computers, so why does that make Bitcoin any less of a speculative bubble?
But they are not currency. Currency is what you settle your tax bills in. And ultimately you need to get hold of some at some point.