Wow. I bet you're really fun at parties.
Scripting however I take very seriously.
Unless you're someone who write that kind of embedded software, and depends on the stderr output of man to control some critical parts of that system (which would be insane) your level of pedantry is unwarranted.
Man is an UI for people. Complaining about its output is like complaining about the GUI of a PDF reader. Sure, you could take snapshots of it, parse it in your system, and be slightly annoyed once by a small easter egg, but it would be kind of stupid because that's not what it was build for.
> Man is an UI for people.
Even the man page includes a couple of examples where it isn't.